Sunday, June 12, 2011

What do I want to be?

I specifically and distinctly remember this time in school one day...when it was raining heavily...and we were waiting at the school gate for the bus to arrive...

I was staring at the school gate...as the water from the rains wet the iron bars of the gate...
That day...that moment...i remember...my mind wandered thinking as to what I would be like when I am OLD...a MAN...bigger....stronger...I mean...whom will i grow into becoming...what profession I would be in...where would my life be...

I am sure you know...Its that nascent stage in school when you dont really know what life holds ahead...you are just learning a lot of things....getting to know a lot of amazing things about the world around you...and you are not really bothered about anything else...

I had a friend whose parents were doctors...and I knew that he knew what he would want to become when he grew older...and he sure did become one good doctor...
I also had this other friend whose parents were doctors...but he was sure he did not want to become one...and yes...he didnot become one...and has supposedly started his own business...and is doing pretty good i hear...

I...for one....at that moment....looking at the school gate...DID NOT know what I want to become...I....to be honest....did not know...what "becoming someone" and "doing something" was...
I was wondering what it would be like...but i had no clue where I wanna be...like my friends did...

I STILL DONT....

It amazes me sometimes...how some people are and always have been clear about what they want to do..and yes...sometimes it does bother me a lot..

That school boy who was wondering what life would be like...is still inside me..the rains remind me of him...
I like that boy...who simply wanted to learn...and know more...and not have to decide...where he wants to be...

Whatever you do, it's what you are going to be.
And I just don't know what I want to be. Yet.
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