Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Decisions


There are times in your life when you question your decisions...what is right...what is wrong...what would have been...with what is...
Notice how all of your decisions are influenced by people around you...by friends, relatives, situations, moods...
One decision...every decision in your life is a filter of all these aspects...
The point I am trying to make is that...amongst all this influence...one should draw the line and understand what one really wants...what is the true 'self' and consequence of the decision.

Throughout mankind...the problem and essentially also the essence of life has always been choice.
So let it be yours...learn from others...but execute what you feel.
Don't let someone's opinion become your reality.

True Story.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

About Mistakes...just a quote...

‎"There are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it is a mistake is to make that mistake and look back and say, "Yup, that was a mistake". 
 So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake because then you'll go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And well...by the end of it..You will realize, you made no mistakes."

Saturday, November 26, 2011

What interests me....


The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
And if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
For love
For your dream
For the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon…
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
If you have been opened by life’s betrayals
Or have become shriveled and closed
From fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
Mine and your own
Without moving to hide it
Or fade it
Or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
Mine or your own
If you can dance with wildness
And let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
Without cautioning us to
Be careful
Be realistic
Remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true
I want to know if you can disappoint another 
To be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
And not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
And therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
Even when it is not pretty
Everyday.
And if you can source your own life
From its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
Yours and mine
And still stand at the edge of the lake
And shout to the silver of the full moon,
Yes”.

It doesn’t interest me
To know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know of you can get up
After the night of grief and despair
Weary and bruised to the bone
And do what needs to be done
To feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
In the centre of the fire
With me
And not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
From the inside
When all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
With yourself
And if you truly like the company you keep
In the empty moments.


Oriah Mountain Dreamer, from the book “the Invitation”, published by HarperSanFrancisco, 1999.



Thursday, November 24, 2011

your thoughts...and the cupboard!

The good thing about having an off from work is that it definitely gives you a break from the routine.
So I am sitting at home...reading stuff....listening to music...and making plans for weekend getaways...
In between...just lying on the bed...thinking...

Have you ever noticed...when you are sitting idle...how you can actually "hear" your thoughts...each and every word....so clear...not messed up...
You may be thinking about anything random...might even not make any sense...but it is still clear...
I somehow find peace in such thoughts...time is slow...and your thoughts know no boundaries or limits...

The free time also gave me a chance to clear up and arrange my cupboard...It was one of the "make your mom happy" things that I did (also because she was after me to clear up the mess for long now!)
(We Boys seriously have a 'thing' with MESS...dont we?)
I mean...I know my clothes are messy...but i do find whatever I want whenever I want it...dont I?
Anyway...after much hesitation and avoidance...I finally got going to arranging my stuff...and thats when I realised something...



As I started arranging my stuff...putting them into proper compartments...rows separating T shirts and formals...jeans and trousers...discarding things i did not need...I somehow felt better...
As if I had made things simple for me...
All of it was always there...and yess....I could find and wear anything I wanted always...even in time..
but this arrangement of things seemed better...simple...and easy...

Isnt it the same for all our thoughts?

You have sooo many of them all the time...messed up....lying there...crumbled...
You know you can tackle them...when you want and how you want...
But trying sitting down once....arranging them...hearing yourself...removing and discarding ones you dont need...and you see how you feel...
at ease...at peace...the world doesnt matter...you and only you and your thoughts do...


“We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. 

With our thoughts, we make the world.”






Thursday, November 03, 2011

DREAM



So finally I got my Tattoo done...!
For all those who wanna know...Yess....it does hurt a bit...but its really quite bearable...
I would describe it more like "very very high fever" at one single point on your body..

Loving it now that it has healed...feels great to have it just like i always wanted it..


 "I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living."
 
On other things...some other time...soon....

Monday, October 17, 2011

Red cart paper and a bicyle

I was driving down the crowded road...my car braking every now and then...waiting for the traffic to clear...the music loud and me staring at the Honda logo in front of me...
As I pumped up the accelerator at the sight of a free signal...I saw a guy on a bicycle pass by...
He was carrying a bag pack...with a round folded red cart paper in it...clearly visible, the way it was kept in the bag pack...

He moved criss-cross through the crowd of cars....trying to make way...almost carelessly...
Seeing him took me to the days of school somehow...may be it was the cart paper...maybe it was his careless and almost fearless maneuvering...

You rememeber those days right....when nothing really matters...all you care about is creativity and to live your dreams...
You take the cart paper...do whatever you want with it...let your thoughts flow...make what your heart tells you...do what you want to...
The irony of life is that as we grow old...we keep yearning for this careless creativity in everything we do...

Very few give the cart paper of their life the shape they dream...

In the randomness of these thoughts...I somehow lost grip of my car for a split second...and gazed a scooter ahead of me with my car...
Before I even realised what had happened...I saw the man and his wife getting down from their sccoter and
screaming a stream of bad words...aimlessly...as if trying to just get out their lifes frustrations on me...
I just stared at them for 2 mins...and drove off...did not see the point in confronting them with anything...

How messed up are our lives these days...what is in front of us doesnt matter...what matters is what is going on in our heads...our reactions depend largely on the wildness of thoughts we constantly carry these days...

Sad. Where has that fearless creativity gone. Are we so caught up with anger?


Saturday, September 24, 2011

work,mind and thoughts.

I am pretty sure that there is definitely a time in everyones life when you have to fight for your peace.
That doesnt really mean that everything around you is going bad...but somehow...i am sure...you are also in a state of jitter when things are going too well.

I was talking to a friend the other day...about how we cant seperate ourselves from our work. It is a part of who we are...what we do...and somehow...you cant just block it out after "office hours".

I know a lot of people for whom "work is...well...work". You get money for it...as they say...and the only high about doing a job is MONEY!
These people...in the true sense...cant be bothered by what they are doing as a "job"...they can do anything...as long it satisfies their bank account by the end of the month.
Profile, responsibilities & job satisfaction are alien words for this kind.

We...my friend and me....are not such people. For us...work is a part of our life. And we cant seperate it out..even if we ever wanted to.
The funny thing with this is that...we are constantly thinking about work...about good things happening...and bad things...about consequenses and actions...about work tommorrow and day after...its a continous thought process...that ultimately eats up your mind.

"If there is anything really that can kill you ever so smoothly, its not a disease or a weapon, it is your own thoughts gone wrong."

Notice your friend list. There will be people you meet often who will never talk about their work. And then there are those...who will mention something or the other about their work...good or bad...

I do like the fact that some of your friends can keep their work so aloof from their life. I think it is a good thing (atleast it lets the world think so it is!)
But i choose the other option.
I dont think this is bad. I think it only retariates the fact that we love what we do...
But definitely...somewhere...for inner peace....you need to let go...after a certain point...

Days come...days go...some are good...(most are good in fact!)...
some will be bad...but they are "bad days" for a reason...

A lot of bad things will happen around you all your life...wrong things which run the world around you...
Yes...not all is fair...not all is for your good...

I like the way I feel about work...I like the fact that these days its the top priority of my life...and I love it is helping me mould and giving me direction...
Peace.



Wednesday, August 24, 2011

update!



Have been enjoying my days in the new profile thoroughly...
I am loving the new place...the whole experience...and the positivity it has brought to me....

Wont write much today....but definitely have some awesome thoughts that I would soon put down...
Have been fascinated by this picture since a few days...It represents DREAM in Japanese...




“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”

Friday, August 19, 2011

"Like" this

There is so much difference when are in a field of work that is somewhere an extension of yourself.
I used to think and assume until a past few days that one can really do any work if he/she wants and that by the end of the day its the 'moolaah' that matters...

You can...yes...you can do any work and even be good at it...but it makes "world-changing" difference when you do something that appeals to you most...and which you like doing...



Having been learning a lot...less time for myself though....but i dont mind that...enjoying every bit of the learning phase...

The prime topic of my coffee table conversations with friends used to be "what do i really want to do?"
I think I have found my answer...and have decided to grow from here...and join the dots...

So then...lets just start the buzz shall we?


P.S: the above strip has been taken from Life's a comic strip! (an awesome read and a must follow blog!)


Thursday, July 07, 2011

mom and dad

I was talking to some friends the other day...and we were discussing that after this weird "everyone is getting married" phase of life...the next stage of even more weirdness would be that of parenting...

Soon you would start hearing news of people "expecting" soon....and even though I am not a fan of babies and kids (I do like babies...i DO NOT hate them....but to be honest....i am a bit scared of them!) , you would have a bunch of kids running around you when you meet friends...close same aged relatives or the likes...

That...i feel....would be a SERIOUS change...!!
I mean...imagine you and your friends...sitting at the coffee place...late night...like every Saturday...to relax....and unlike present times....there would be ranting, crying, running around, screaming...ufff! Dont count out the fact that half of your frineds wont turn up....for reasons ranging from "my kids got school meeting tomm" to "my baby is crying/ill past few days" to even "dint get a baby sitter today"

I donot know how I would personally cope up with all this...but it would be worth a watch...

That scary topic led us to our parents...
and I realised how SELFLESS a job parenting really is...

Think about your Mom and Dad for 2 mins...look at them...realise what they do and dont do...and you will know...

Everything that they do...yes...each and everything...revolves around their children!
Like...all my mom really cares about...is whether I am content...happy...or if something is troubling me or no...
That is how it is for their generation of parenting...

SELFLESS CARE...that is the best you can describe it as...NO other words!

I sincerely doubt if our generation of parents would be this way...if would really live upto this level of care...which at times...we dont even acknowledge...

Well...have been trying a lot these days...to take out time...and talk to Mom...just...beacause...I know it makes her feel good...and amazingly...talking with her...does release a lot of my tensions and concerns...
Somehow...Moms have this astonishing quality to let you know that "Everything will be ok"

Thank you Mom and Dad...I may not say it often...but I do mean it...THANK YOU!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

try...get out ther!

Is work always "routine"?
I mean...people say it is NOT if you love what you are doing...but i strictly doubt that too...

I feel there should be some way of "spicing" up your so called work life...
Yess...of course...the first step would be to do a job that you love doing...else whatever you do as "work" doesnt really make any difference in your life...
You do it with no heart...and eventually....it is the worst routine that you can get into...

Life is not about this now is it....you did not come to this world to do the same thing again and again...



Was talking to a colleague about how we ourselves need to get out and take a risk...start exploring opportunities...however risky they seem...

I know it takes a lot of guts to get out of your comfort zone and get out there in the scary zone again...not knowing what and where you are heading...
but think for a minute...
Do you really even know now, in the comfort zone, where art thou headed?

I am trying to convince myself somewhere too...to get out...and try something new...something exciting...something different...

I know for sure...that when you look back at your life...you will always find...that you dont regret anything...and that the risk was always worth taking...and you will be always glad if you took it...

Sunday, June 12, 2011

What do I want to be?

I specifically and distinctly remember this time in school one day...when it was raining heavily...and we were waiting at the school gate for the bus to arrive...

I was staring at the school gate...as the water from the rains wet the iron bars of the gate...
That day...that moment...i remember...my mind wandered thinking as to what I would be like when I am OLD...a MAN...bigger....stronger...I mean...whom will i grow into becoming...what profession I would be in...where would my life be...

I am sure you know...Its that nascent stage in school when you dont really know what life holds ahead...you are just learning a lot of things....getting to know a lot of amazing things about the world around you...and you are not really bothered about anything else...

I had a friend whose parents were doctors...and I knew that he knew what he would want to become when he grew older...and he sure did become one good doctor...
I also had this other friend whose parents were doctors...but he was sure he did not want to become one...and yes...he didnot become one...and has supposedly started his own business...and is doing pretty good i hear...

I...for one....at that moment....looking at the school gate...DID NOT know what I want to become...I....to be honest....did not know...what "becoming someone" and "doing something" was...
I was wondering what it would be like...but i had no clue where I wanna be...like my friends did...

I STILL DONT....

It amazes me sometimes...how some people are and always have been clear about what they want to do..and yes...sometimes it does bother me a lot..

That school boy who was wondering what life would be like...is still inside me..the rains remind me of him...
I like that boy...who simply wanted to learn...and know more...and not have to decide...where he wants to be...

Whatever you do, it's what you are going to be.
And I just don't know what I want to be. Yet.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Thinkin...

They say that the basis of all problems...and even solution for that matter...is how your thoughts drag you...

Have you ever sat down concentrating on what exactly you are thinking...It amazes you right...what all the brain has to offer...extremes...madness...nonsense thoughts which more than 90% of times go nowwhere after seconds of revolving in your head.

Come to think of it...this blog has been a result of such random...sometimes useless thoughts...

Anyways...moving on....

Today I did not make myself available at work...to break the routine...and will be off to Goa for some fun this evening...
Was just telling a friend the other day that this is the longest I have ever "worked" with the same company and doing a job I dont necessarily like that much...
2 years is bigggg time for me....

But then...the plan has to work...and so i keep that thought aside...for better things to come...

When I look back at my life...Everything seems ok...things have happened for best...and how much ever i crib on a daily basis about my work...i dont think i would have made friends like i made in the past 2 years anywhere else...or done things i have done or will be doing in the coming days...

Met some good people...and some great ones...and will be meeting some awesome ones in the days to come...

So then....Cheers to LIFE....see you in Goa...!
:)


"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning."

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

This is the time of My Life...



A song to go down the memory lane...and for better hope for the moment...and the times to come...

Monday, April 11, 2011

...Patience...

Halt!! Just...just...wait a bit....

This is what I have told myself for the past 2 years everytime I have felt like flipping out...or running away...
"I dunno what I want to do...so does no one else around me...so lets just wait and keep patient...for once...before I make a hasty decision..."

Work though...has not been going anywhere...I am trying to "join the dots" like Steve Jobs said...but somehow...I think 2 years is enough time to move on...
Try something new...explore and challenge myself with something different...and maybe in the process....ill end up joining the dots of life...and know what I really want to do career wise...something that would "define" me...complete my existence here.

Life has been pretty cool otherwise...My refrain from blogging was something I think had chosen...somehow felt I had nothing new to share or write...
But I have decided to start again...afresh...to keep myself and my blog updated...small posts maybe...day after day...something irrelevant maybe...to make sense by the end of the day...

The trip to Dubai last month was something I will cherish my entire life...mainly because it was my first trip to foreign land...something I have always wished to do...to see the world...and this was a start to it....


This was a sort of "me-still-here" kinda post...and my aberrations will continue in the posts to come...

To all those who follow and dont follow me...thank you for your PATIENCE...

Thank you for the faith that some day I will find myself...that some day...
I will know what I want...and dont want...



(I started writing this post on 11th April and finally managed to "get on" with it on 24th April! lolzz)





Saturday, January 22, 2011

...notes to note...

Its been a realllly realllyy long time I know...
and somehow it might feel strange....but i have a very happy reason for staying away...a reason that I think need not be shared here...
:)

Finally got sometime to sit down today....in the midst of the "busy" work life....busy but awesomely boring work life that is...a part of my todays post is gonna be about this...but not everything...

(Being away...i realised...makes to wanna fill the gap and write everythin down...but ill try and keep it short!)

I cant understand why companies and individuals dont have priorities...
My present experiences with work...every day...makes me feel that somehow...we are largely aimless about where we are headed...and how we are headed...
Worst part is...when you join a company after your studies...I dont think anyone for that matter knows why you are joining that particular company...its more about the salary and renumeration always than the actual work...because...you never really are clear about the actual work you gonna do...

I, personally know that I am as aimless in my professional life as a drunk and high teen trying to get home...but I feel that even a lost guy like me can change a lot here...can give this place a direction of sorts...
Makes me wanna shout sometimes and tell people what they need to do...and what they dont.

One person. Outdated customer. Shouting at you. You go out of your way ( and i mean really reallyy out of the way!) to get his work done. He doesnt care. Shouting continues. All effort waste.

I wouldnt really like to explain more of such instances..but people should really learn to prioritize business. So do companies.

Moving on to other things....

* Me turned down a really high paying job offer!! :O

(As foolish as it sounds right now...I would like to call it "a process of finding myself" and just stop ther...)

* Me getting a new car!!

(I know no one cares by now...coz i have been contemplating this for more than 6 months now...lolzzz....but choosing between BEAT and i 10 is tough mannn!!)

* Me got new books to read!!!

(Another additions to a large collection...which i dunno when ill complete...)

* Me not going to the gym!!!

(Wtf! I have nothing to write about this...expect that...i bloodyy get back at it! )

...and lastly....to end this post on a high note...

* Mes as happy as being in love!!!
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