Friday, December 23, 2005

I am at a stage in my life now where...suddenly...a word "CAREER" has come to of great importance...and all the more suddenly...other things...have taken a back seat...

I duno what is it...is it because others hav got their options right...that they KNOW what they are goin to do 6 months frm now when we pass out as Engineers (miserable ones tho!)....or is it because i am not sure what i am doin and what i wanna do is correct...
I get this feeling always....that i am takin a safer side...a safer option...but is PLAYING SAFE gonna help??

i read this the other day...

"Time is your name for the motion of consciousness.Every possible event that can happen in time and space happenes NOW,at once,simultaneous.There is no past,no future,only NOW!

Its like arithmethic...As soon as you knw the system,you knw that every problem in numbers is already answered.For example....The principle of arithemetic already knows the cube root of six,but it may take us a while...what we call time...maybe a few seconds to calculate what the answer has always been.Which means...every event,every possible thing that can happen in TIME...has already happened!!
Then why do we live through all these experiences in this make beleive TIME if everything is already done, you ask??

The point is not that its done...but that we hav an infinite CHOICE...our choices lead us to our experiences...and then to our result..."


A friend told me this the other day....

"Our life is the outcome of the string of choices we make..."
So true...
Yet...still...the problem is CHOICE!!!

:-)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

....with some changes...here n there...LIFE in general...
...You will see them in the posts to come...
:-)

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

SYSTEM HANG!!!

I am sorry for the long absense...
I hav my exams comin up and hence wont be bloggin much for a few days...
So till then...The bloggin server here is down...and my world for you has paused!

Give me all the luck you can spare...I NEED IT ALL!! :-)

Well...i thot i wud end the post here...but i would like to add some notes i made some while ago in this post as well..these dont sum up to anything...but i hardly hav anything else to write...


I am going to sue Hrithik Roshan!! Damn...he copied my hairstyle for his new John Players ad!!


7 women and just one guy in a waiting room....talk abt boredome to its max!!


Some ppl in your life are so perfectly placed! its like....it was meant to be for us to be freinds...
Sometimes...you wonder...what made us soo good friends??


You wait for that one look the whole day....that you miss a hundred others!


So much to study and soo little time! [y is it always this way and not the other way round? :-D]


Others have all the LUCK!


I cant bear her for more than 5 mins of talk...but shes a very good friend!


Some professors are soo sweet...and some are soo irritating that you feel like slappin them the moment you see them...


I have nothin to prove to anyone except myself!


If evrythin in this world is "fated" and "decided"....i would very much like to change it....and change it NOW!!


All it takes is just one compliment to bring an instant smile on your face!


Thers nothin like seeing a smile on your Mom's face...


I wanna cross atleast 70% this time!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

You are hurting 2 people...

LEAVE HER ALONE....SHE SHOULDNT BE PAINED LIKE THIS...

....AND I CANT SEE HER BEING STRESSED LIKE THIS....

Friday, September 23, 2005

A walk with her....


Why is it so that you say the most stupid things when you with the person you LOVE (i dunno if its right to use this word these days...)
I met her on the way to college the other day....We were walkin...I was sayin nothin...she was awfully quiet...
And i was having the best walk of my life!!
I dunno if it was the silence or it was her...for 2 minutes...IT WAS PERFECT!! And it happened....
I realised that the "pause" was gettin nowhere...and on the threshold...i needed to speak something....something....anythin...and it had to be quick!

I was now beginning to feel as if the silence was because she was uncomfortable...

"You seem nervous today....any problem??",I asked.
"Nervous...naa re....why do u think that??"
"Am i makin you uncomfortable?? Coz i wudnt want that....",I continued.
"No re....nothin like that...."She put up a smile...

After this...i had to move on to something else....u know...change the topic...
And then i said the most stupidest and seemingly the most offending two words in the history of conversation...

"Then why the WORN OUT look?"
Of all the millions of words in english i used...WORN OUT!! [i obviously dint mean that....it just came out of my head...frm nowhere!....well...its difficult to think straight about what you say when u are with the person u like :-D]
"Worn out???" she asked.

Realising what i had just done...
"ok...worn out is not the word...forget it....",I said and we moved on to something else...

I posted this basically to make a note of this moment...frm the "perfect" SILENCE to my being a "perfect" IDIOT!

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I did it...yes i did it...
:-)
Told her how i feel...and it feels good to have finally let it out...
She said "NO"...No surprise there actually...
I dunno how this is gonna mess things between us...She did sound cool abt it (I still cant remember if we were laughin more abt what i said or thinkin seriously over it...)

I do feel bad abt it...but its ok i think...
Well...thats all there is to it i guess...
THERE ARE SOME THINGS IN YOUR LIFE THAT ARE NOT YOURS TO CONTROL...



Fate And Circumstances
by Missy

As words flow across the screen,
Relationships are discussed...
Positions in life are dreamed,
Frustration intensifies.
You say fate has brought us together but circumstances are keeping us apart...
Will fate and circumstances ever let us be as one?


Monday, August 29, 2005

CHEERS!!!!

You know how when everything is goin wrong in your life there finally comes a time when you have to say "Ok...This is ENOUGH!"
I have reached that point now...I have been bothered so much by things happenin around me that now....I JUST DONT CARE!!!
Its like...i have reached my point of saturation and nothin bad after this will ever affect me...I'll only take it all with a smile...
LIFE IS GOOD...and I am damn sure so is my FUTURE...knw why?? Coz i knw i am a GOOD person {Think no evil and evil wont affect you...}




A brief candle; both ends burning,but its giving light to the dark room
An endless mile; but the bus wheel is still turning
A friend to share the lonesome times;A handshake and a sip of wine
So say it loud and let it ring
We are all a part of everything
The future, present and the past
Fly on proud bird
You're free at last....


Well...i did a bit of self contemplating yesterday and came to two very important (important for me of course...) decisions....

  • I care a damn abt what others are doin...Let them have their "oh...so..perfect" lives...Let them get placed and have jobs...I am going to live my not so perfect life damn "perfectly"!I have decided to do an MBA...its what i wanna do...and i am gonna prove to them what i am capable of... Just coz i am runnin on bad luck....doesnt mean you are better than me...so...just go to your 9-5 jobs...ill come and be your BOSS some day! :-P
  • I am going to tell "her" how i feel about her...I think its very important for my own sake...coz i dont wanna regret it later in my life...i dont wanna think back that i did nothin abt a gal i was soo damn serious abt! I think i am ready to here the "NO" now than to not "know" at all!! :-D Dont ask me when i am going to do it....i know i am goin to....but when its the right time...It time maybe today,tommorrow....6 months from now...i dunno....but i will tell her...
So....HERE's TO A GR8 FUTURE!!! :-D
:Cheers:

Saturday, August 20, 2005

...The Last Whine...

"So...whos the latest gal in ur life now..." was the question popped by a friend the other day...
To be honest...if she had asked me this abt 6 months ago...i wouldnt have been as offended as i was now...
My friends are only amused abt the ever so changing gals on my LIST...and hence they never fail to get the updated name on it every 4-5 weeks....
And i used to keenly keep them updated by addin names to the list...for i never took these things so seriously anyway...
But now my reaction was a different one....
"oh..comeon....When will you gals take me seriously??" i asked.
"When you really will be serious..." was the answer i got.

I bluntly changed the conversation to something else...coz i knew i could never convince her that finally I have become serious.....that finally theres a name on my list that i cant find the courage to erase...
And strangely....this is the first time i hav not a single nerve in me that has enough dauntlessness to go and tell the gal how i feel abt her...Coz i knw her answer...and i dont wanna hear that "NO!"...

PS:
I realised that i am whinin a lot these days on my blog....I know it sucks...
Well...I hope this will be the last of the series of whining posts...I am sorry i made you read all this crap till now...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

...The perfect Rose...



  • You find the "perfect" ROSE ever seen but you have no one to give it to...No use of it...is there??
  • You finally find someone whom you would really want it to keep...but you never gather enough courage to give it...No use of it..is there??
  • You gather the courage to give it to someone...but the person refuses to accept it...No use of it...is there?

Wats the point of all this you ask???
Well...just that on my way back i saw the most beautiful Rose at a flower shop...
And NO...this is not abt how i felt the urge to buy it and realised..."Oh my god!! i hav no one to giv it to!!" [This realisation occurs to me evry now and then!!! :-D]

Its just that...Everything you do in life needs a complete cycle to be complete...
You start with HOPE and end with SUCCESS...
This is applicable to everything you do in life....dont you think??

So...what do you do when you start with something thats just not "meant to be"!!!Whom will you blame in the end??

You might come across a person whom you think you are in LOVE with....
But what if somehwer down the line you know that it might never just happen between you both...
You just hope and pray that it will some day...but it might never happen...
What do you do??
Accept it...Smile...and get on with your life...

Thats what i have decided to do...
Isnt it better than just keep walking down the wrong road untill you realise you are too far to turn back and return...
LET IT GO...thats the answer...YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS COMING YOUR WAY...

"The brightest of ideas and feelings are a complete waste if they have no takers..."


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

...The rain...

Well...finally got a net connection!!!
The rains are not ready to stop...Its been more than 28 hrs now...Its been pourin continously...
I am sittin at home with no cable,no phones,no electricity and net(untill now!),zero range on the mobile........
Life has become rural and really really dark!! Half of Mumbai is drowned i heard....
But it is still the best climate i have ever seen in 21 yrs of my life....

In a situation like this...wen you hav nothin to do but sit in the dark...wat do u do?
Thoughts started runnin in my mind abt the day that had passed by...and i started recollectin the day...

I was to recieve the CEO of Capgemini for a presentation he was to give in our college...
I stood at the gate ready to welcome him...I was ofcourse a bit nervous...i mean...comeon...we are talkin abt the CEO of a company here...
I saw his car enter the gate and all that was runnin through my mind was "Dont mess up...Dont mess up..."
The car stopped and He got out...i wished him good mornin and waited for him to speak...
He did speak...
"Can you please show me whers the REST ROOM??"

These were the first words of the CEO of Capgemini to me!!!
I couldnt help laughin( in my mind of course!)
It made me realise that however big u make it in life...YOU ARE STILL HUMAN!!!
And after this realisation...all my nervousness was thrown in the bin and i could talk to him as if he was just any other elder i would talk to...

Well..the darkness was longer than this thought...so i started thinkin abt...well...HER!!
(Wat else do you do in the most romantic climate ever!!)
And again i came to the same conclusion...
"JUST SHUT THE F**K UP...She doesnt hav to knw!!
If you ever tell her...you are gonna just screw up your life..."

PS:- I knw this post was a bit crappy and not "to the point" or somethin of that sort...But thats the state of my mind right now...I am sorry that i put you into readin this...
LOL

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

I need to take a risk....just need to...





RISK

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental
To reach out for another is to risk involvement
To expose your feelings is to risk
exposing your true self
To place your ideal, your dreams before a crowd
is to risk their loss
To love is to risk not being loved in return

To live is to risk dying
To hope is to risk despair
To try is to risk failure

Yet risks must be taken
Because the greatest hazard in life is risking
NOTHING

The person who risks nothing
Does nothing
Has nothing
Is nothing

Self-realisation is harder than
Self Sacrifice

Author Unknown

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

...Miscommunication...

This had come in the mail yesterday...Its a must see...
I hav not kept the original size so it would be a bit hard to read...But its worth it!

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Whers my Dancing Partner!!!

I wanted to "copy" this post long back...but it just got delayed...
I found this on Deez's blog ...Loved it soooooooooo much!!!
Read it n lemme knw wat u feel....

Finding a life-partner is just like finding a dance-partner.

You need to look for the same things in both.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Now let me explain....

The first and the foremost thing is to be in synch. Getting two human beings in synch with each other is probably the most testing of tasks. They have to move together, not necessarily in the same direction, yet always in a rhythm. They may be swinging to their own beats, yet they have to come across a couple who understands each other's rhythm and keeps together.

You have to be close together, yet keep up your space, and respect that of the other. No stepping onto each other's toes!! It's not really welcome.
And if you - by chance - happen to make that mistake, say sorry immediately, and you 'll be forgiven. The dance continues. But if you don't; well next dance will go to - obviously not you!

Now this one's not that important, yet if you both like the same kind of music - soft and light, or foot stamping and loud, or head banging rock - it will definitely give you a better understanding of each other's rhythm.
Even if your tastes don't really match, at least an effort to know the other's will be highly appreciated. And you will receive the gift of the same back.

Then, you need to respect each other's need to take a break, or to keep going on. Once in a while you need to do a little bit extra , coz your partner is so keen to jive on, on this particular number, or adjust a little and take a break with him/her when they are too tired to go on any more.

You need not be a great dancer to rock the floor, just need to get along well with your one partner.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

I am gettin OLD!!!

...18th June...
Well...Being 21 isnt that freaky as i thought it would be....
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Especially wen u get a Nokia 6260 as a b'day gift!!! {he he he he...Wat else do u need in life!!! ;-D}
Spent the whole day shoppin...(Its fun to empty your Dads pockets)
This was one of the better b'days...mainly bcoz this was one b'day i didnt spend studyin the whole day!!! (Most of my b'days come during exams...It sucks!!!)
On top of it....It RAINED today!!! (wooohoooo....I love the rains!!


On other things...
Well...wats up with Bloggers these days....Evryone is shutin down their blogs....Its like an Epidemic!!!
I am goin to miss some my best Blogosphere friends :-(
Come on ppl...Residents of Blogosphere dont giv up sooo easily...

Friday, June 10, 2005

I HAVE DROPPED BY AGAIN.....

Yes i am back...
Feels as if i hav entered a new world....FREEDOM at last!!!
Exams are strange...they really make BOOKS ur life for watever time they last for....Nothin else is on ur mind....except the fuckin exams!!
Ok....me talkin too much "exams" here....See...The hang over's still ther ;-P
I dunno...But I am some other person durin exams....

Question:

Wat are the prominent changes u see in me during exams?
Answer:
The most prominent changes u see in me during exams are as stated below:

{Use of standard question answer format is a direct effect of the hangover....don worry...its fadin away slowly :-)}

  • I hav only 2 pairs of clothes durin exams....I dunno...sounds foolish...but i do beleive a lot in LUCK....so wear my lucky pairs all through the exam...
  • I have a very specific place wher i go and sit if i happen to arrive early...this is not very intended....its just that my friends n I gather at a place in college...
  • I am all sleepy and restless before the exam...this is natural i guess....
  • If you are a gal...I wont talk to u b4 exams...I might just put on a light smile...that too if you come right in front on me and i hav no way to escape without interactin with u...Now...dont ask me y i do this...I just do it....I feel it would distract me in some way...
  • If you are a gal i really really really ignore during exams....The reason is obvious frm pt no.2 :-)
  • I have very specific timings during exams....6:45 am awake n 12:30 asleep...
  • No PC till the completion of exams....(Fuck...ask me how to stay away!!!)
The conclusion drawn from the above points is that...well...i am transformed into a COMPLETE GEEK durin exams....its nice to slowly come out of it....
Will get a break for atleast 2-3 weeks before college starts again...

By the way....I think i am in LOVE again (I knw...this must be the nth fuckin time!!!)
But lemme tell you....this is diff...its more of "I Like You" love...And the best part is...
I wont be messin this up like i always...ohh... always....do...
Wanna knw y??
Coz she would never knw...
;-)

By the way...thinkin of buyin a new cell...goin thru the list of desirables...hav my eyes on this peice for now....
Its 2:05 am now....enuf writin for me....switchin to watchin TV...
Cya...

Monday, May 23, 2005

INFORMAL NOTICE

I have my theory exams coming up (they never end!!!)....so wont be bloggin untill June 9th...Studyin very very hard!!![wats to be read bteween the lines: I AM FUCKED,SCREWED and very much in a big (oh...its a really big one...) plight...IF I DONT GEAR UP NOW...ME DEAD!!!]

Seeya on 9th then...WISH ME LUCK!!!!

[NOTE FOR ME:(not to b read by bloggers) {Avoid usin sooo many brackets man....it sucks!!!!} ]

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

ME IN A FIX!!

The phone rings...I pick it up and damn...its yet another blank call...i check the number and its from a PCO near by...
At first i thought it was some of my friends playin a prank(they do this a lot...God knws wats funny abt givin blank calls!!)
The next day another call came....
"Hi,This is M******."
"I am sorry...Do i knw you??",me said.
"I live in the building front of yours....i noticed you by the window and wanted to b friends..."
I was surprised...Coz i had never noticed her...And her voice was...well...childish...
"I hope you are not angry with me...",she said.
"Naa...Its ok...its just that i am a bit surprised...How old are you??"
"I am 15...and wat abt u??"
"I am 20...frm wher did u get my number??"
"Frm the Local Directory...I hope you are not angry...Can we b friends???",she said.
"yaa...sure...no probs..." And i kept the phone.
I thought ok...shes 15...wat else can you say to a gal whos 15!!
I hav no probs in keepin friendship with her...
But she is a bit tooo young!!!
Plus she keeps starin at my window the whole day...its kinda freakin!!
Its sooo damn awkward....sooo awkward that i am literally hiding in my own house!!!
I dunno what to do...I knw i cant blame her for what shes doin basically becoz....SHES A KID!!!
I dunno wat to do :-(
I have my exams comin up and i really need to concentrate on my studies right now....

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Just another post....

Dinner was served...Me and my bro started to eat...he,browsing the TV channels for somethin worthwhile to watch...As usual...the Television doesnt let us down....full of crappy serials...
Finally bro settled down to watch a newly released movie showin on the local channel...

The story??? A love story between the 35 yr old hero and a 17 yr old gal !!! (Man...even I could come up with a better story than this one!! anyway....back to the movie...)

The scene....
Guy knowin the gal better with sweet talk....
Guy asks the gal "So...Do you have a bf??"
Gal replies "No way..."
Guy: "Why??"
Gal:" I am not that 'type' of girl..."

She said this line and i burst out laughin.....
My bro looked at me with uttermost amusement and screamed..."Was that a joke??? why the hell are u laughin???"

I replied...."No yaar....its just that i have heard this line sooo many times...."

I always wonder...what 'type' do these gals refer to....90% of the gals i have heard this from have eventually got into a stupid relationship and even gotten out of it by now...
So why the fuss anyway...They just try to show off how descent and meticulate (in terms of relationships) they are...end up screwin their fuckin lives anyway!!!



This is something i read today...

"Stand up,Be bold,Be strong.Do what no one else has dared to do...Do what anyone else doesnt want you to do...Never follow something bcoz everyone else is doing so..Take the whole responsibilty on your shoulders....
You do this and you are already SUCCESSFUL.."


I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life...Took up Engineering...blindly joined the rat race...I regret it each and everyday i am becoming more of the engineer i set out to be...
But i hav learnt from it...Never goin to repeat it again...
You cant blame yourself for the choice you make....because you never ever know the consequences...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Haloscan goes....

....FOR GOOD!!!

I am back to blogger comments....y???
Coz Haloscan Sucks!!!!
They dont archive ur comments after 4 months (you hav to pay the assholes 12$ for that!!!) and they dont tell that to you untill u go through their cheeky FAQ!!!
Plus Blogger has made provision for outsiders to comment as well (the main reason for me usin Haloscan for so long)
All you hav to do is click on OTHERS and walla!! you can comment even if you are not a blogger member!!!
The only sorrow is ill be losing all the precious comments i got from the other bloggers( *sob sob*)
:-(
Damn the $%%$#%# Haloscan!!!

Monday, May 02, 2005

The days pass by...

Well...i thought i wont be getting time to blog untill i am done with my exams....No wait...lemme rephrase that...I had decided not to blog untill i am done with my exams...But then...wat the heck!!
You can always get a 10 mins a day to blog rite??

Ok...I am almost done with my Orals...they were ok..not bad...considering the Professors ask questions like "Wher does it rain most in our country??" for an Oral on COMPUTER ORGANIZATION!!I mean god knows how rain and computers are related!!!(yeah...engineering sure sucks!!)
Now...there's the main theory exam coming up...man...i have to study a lot!!!
My aggregate percentage which is a mere 55%...need to come up to 60% :-( Its highly impossible but me tryin my best...

I wish life wasnt so complicated...well...thats wat everyone hopes i guess...
I look at the criss-crossings on the palm of my hand...tryin to figure out wher the hell are they goin...But then u knw the future only wen it becomes a yesterday...

Life sure is difficult...the more i come to know of it...and its extremely unfair at times...unfair to the level that it hurts...
But then...you hav to STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
The whole world is fuckin messed up...but you just hav to STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

Song on the Music Player:
"ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE..." from Shrek 2.

Fits the mood i am in right now...other than the study burden of course :-)

Monday, April 18, 2005

My blog thinks!!!

Wats on my blog's mind right now :


I wonder where has Aberrant gone...Its been long since his last post...Oooohh!! Now i remember...his exams are coming up...must be busy studying...I hope he does well...
Well...hes been studyin hard...no doubt abt that...
So i guess i wont be seeing him for abt a month or so...
:-(

I'll miss him...

Thursday, April 07, 2005

The "ideal" gal...

I hav had a crush on many (raised to infinity) gals till now...
I hav asked out many(again raised to infinty)gals till now...

I never even bothered to look at them again...and beleive me...i hav created such a image around me that gals just dont take me seriously anymore...even if i was to get serious abt any gal...She would surely laugh at my face as if it were just another joke...
Its not that i dont wanna get serious abt any gal...but then if the gal in front of you isnt serious....y shud i be??
True love is hard to find and the one who loves YOU rather than you loving the person is even harder...and i am not that foolish to give it away...but i havent met one such gal...either that or gals dont think i can ever be serious abt LOVE...
Ok...now enough of this crap....half of my blog is filled with it....

I was wondering today...Shud i tell you about the "ideal" gal in my mind??well...wat the heck...here she is...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

ok...i knw its Amisha Patel [for those who dont know...she is aBollywood actress...and the cutest ever to hit cinema :-)]
Shes an Angel...isnt she?? :-)
Well...i dont go for looks in a gal....LOVE is beyond looks rite....but Amisha Patel is just soooo damnnn cute!!!(I knw...you wud say its the 'fan' in you whos talkin...but just look at her!!!!)
Well...thats that...my "ideal" gal...sweet isnt she??I could just go on and on abt her...
hmm...well...I wish i get someone atleast close to her ;-)

Friday, April 01, 2005

SPEED UP FIREFOX !!!!

I found this on Paul's blog [nice one...worth a look]...A big fan of FIREFOX that i am i just had to post it here...

Firefox Rocks!

Ok, you cruise the internet a lot... And you like Firefox because, well, a lot of things, one of which is its speed. But do you want to make Firefox really speed up? Try yet another firefox tweak that you will absolutely love!!!! You will want to type "about:config" into the address bar. And you will want to change two values in the config file. Change "network.http.pipelining" to true and change "network.http.pipelining.maxrequests" to 30. Now go ahead and browse! You should notice that Firefox now speeds up!!!

I hav tried this myself...and beleive me....IT ROCKS!!! Try it and do lemme knw if you feel the difference...

Monday, March 28, 2005

..Love is all around...

Plz Note: I hav been gettin a lot of Comments for this post sayin this story is not true...Ppl...Isnt that OBVIOUS!!! The "soul" of this post was something else...too bad very few (Read Animesh and Kay) got it....
:-P




My visits to the doc's place has increased for the past few days {Damn...this cold...}
I went today for a common cold but returned with a "pain" in the heart....Here's what happened...

Theres usually a long queue at my docs place and it frustrating sometimes...I went early today to make sure i wont have to wait for long...I scanned through his 'dated' magazines in his waiting room and looked at his cabin door....(Damn the patient inside was takin soooo long...) And then she entered...
I took one look at her...She gav a smile and i returned it with my dimple...
She came and sat a bit far from me...Now...generally i dont talk to strangers...(and never to strangers who are gals!!...) But then she was around 15-16 and i said to myself what harm would a cute 15 yr would do to you...besides i had to pass my time and there was hardly anything else to do...
So...i pulled myself closer to her and made a faint "HI" sound...She looked at me with strange suprised eyes...Before i could say anything else,she said,"Hi...I have AIDS..."

I looked at her....trying to sink in what i had just heard....and the next thing that came out of my mouth almost at the very next second was..."SO???" I put on a vague smile and said,"So...thats an excuse for not talking to me??"
Her surprised eyes suddenly gleamed and she laughed...
"No...generally people tend to ignore me..."
ME: "Well...generally you must not be meeting people like me..." (I couldnt think of anything else to say...)
And then we started talkin....
Her name...Sunanya...
We talked for about 10 mins after that (nothin special...just abt her school and stuff...)
The cabin door opened and it was my turn to go in...
I looked at her and i just knew i had to do this...
"I would love to be in touch with you...",I said. I dunno why but my heart was pounding like hell...

She took a pause and all she said was...
"I wont...because i would hate to loose people like you..."

I looked at her one last time and turned back...
I knew i had done the right thing and i couldnt stop smiling....The words she used helped me realise i am not at all a bad person :-)
While returnin back...i passed the waiting room and waved BYE to her...

I know it sounds silly....but i want to have more of the doc's visits!!!
I feel a pain in the heart when i think of what happened...But at the same time i feel happy...
Happy about the fact that she knows how to live Life...

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Healing your heart...


I came across these quotes in...beleive it or faint...A Medical Journal at my doctors place...


"The descision of the first kiss is the most crucial one in any Love story,It changes the relationship between the two people forever.It is even more crucial than the final surrender, for "the first kiss" is itself a very big surrender..."



"When in doubt whether or not to kiss a pretty woman...Always go ahead and kiss...Give her the benefit of doubt..."


The walk...

Ever noticed that wen you are walkin on a road...You hardly meet or see the person twice in your life...It may be your most frequently used road...but hardly do you see the same face again...If you havent noticed this...start doing it...You will be surprised!!
No...I am not bringin to your notice or tryin to convince you that the population is increasing far beyond control (even if i am not...It really is by the way...) I am just trying to know WHY??
I mean you do meet your friends sometimes on this road...but this occurs 1 of 10 ten times!!!

Its like you hav been put in a new world everyday!! Think about "your" best friends....they could easily hav been "my" best friends!! "YOU" could easily hav been "ME"!!
What i am tryin to say is...Ther has to be some reason for the way you r leadin your life...A reason for whom you choose your friend...whom you like...whom you dont...whom you more than just "like"...
A reason for whom you meet frequently and whom you dont or cant...irrespective of wherther you want to or not...
A reason for whom you fall in Love...whom you hav fallen in Love...whom you hav fallen out of Love...whom you are goin to fall in Love...
A reason for the NETWORK you are forming...

I read Micheal Jackson say this.."It feels good...actually great to be the best known pop singer in this world today...but it could easily have been someone else...God chose me from all others and i thank him for that..."

I hav no idea what i wanted to convey...no idea if ever i had anything to convey has really come out in this post...But its a new post at the end of it all ;-)
So...wat the heck!!

Friday, March 04, 2005

TING TING TING....

I was sittin in my class...almost asleep [The lectures are really boring...they always are...plus the profs arent babes either!! ;-D] wen i heard the tinglin sound...
Some gal had entered the class (Dont ask me who...the gals in my class are not worth lookin at...)
I am stressin on the SOUND not the gal here [wow...this is new :-D]
It was a small bell attached to her bag that was makin the sound...it was soooooo damn CUTE!!!!

I hav always loved these things...I hav always wanted to giv one to someone....They r like the cheapest and the most purrfect gifts!!!!

No....i am not advertising these bells or anything....The point i am tryin to make is...
DAMN IT....I am like the best BF a gal cud hav!!! i mean...who else wud think the tingling sound which disturbs evryone evrytime the damn bag moves even a little as CUTE!!!!
Plzz someone come and ask me to buy a bell !!!
...lol...lol..lol...
:-D

Friday, February 18, 2005

I getta a whole lot of them :-D

One thing you need in life...at least i need in life are a whole lot of COMPLIMENTS!!!
You hav no idea wat one simple compliment can do to you...
Those simple words you say...even if you sometimes dont mean it...can just change your mood almost instantly...
"You hav a beautiful handwriting." My prof told me today....
Now...its not a big deal for me to hear this....i really hav a very good handwriting...too bad i cant prove it here...but then hearing it once in a while sure does giv you a sorta 'kick'!!!

I was thinkin...wat will be the best compliment i would like receive...
Umm....lets see...The common ones are.."Lookin good 2day" ,"Nice shirt","Nice Handwriting.." ,"Cute!!", blah blah blah....[I KNOW!!! how much charmin can a person be!! he he he he he...]

I was just thinkin...Can "I love you" be considered a compliment?? I sure do consider it to be one...keep usin it often on gals ;-)
... lol ...

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

..........

I hav hardly anything to blog 2day....
Just came across my LOVE PROFILE ....
Very childish...but nice way to pass your time ;-)





Gemini - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:
Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.
You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.
You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you.

Your negative traits:
You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.
You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.
Not the most emphathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems.

Your ideal partner:
Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.
Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.
An open minded person, who's willling to have a non-traditional relationship.

Your dating style:
Exciting. If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy.

Your seduction style:
Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.
Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet.
Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing.

Tips for the future:
Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.
Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.
Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time.

Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow

Best day for a date:
Wednesday

Monday, February 07, 2005

I am torn apart...

...between the two....

One has been loyal to me ever since i can remember....Always there when i needed her...
The other one has just entered my life...and shes the best thing to happen untill now!!
The former is stylish...sleek and as all the features as the later....but ther is definitely something missing...i can feel it...
The second one is simple....and thats wat is soo 'catching' abt her...
I dunno wat to do...

Oh...i forgot to mention whom i am talkin abt :-P
I am talkin abt NETSCAPE 7.2 and FIREFOX internet browsers....

I was a loyal NETSCAPE user...i just loved it!! Internet Explorer of course...SUCKS!!
I had heard abt Firefox and how cool it is....but never bothered to even check it out...just bcoz Netscape never gave me a reason to...
Untill my friend coaxed me to just try it once after a long arguement over which is better....
I hesitantly installed it...
I hav found that most of the features of Netscape and Firefox are common...but one thing that i found attracting in Firefox is the extensions they offer....its super cool...
Other than this....I found nothin new in Firefox....on the other hand Netscape is far more stylish and smooth...

But i hav been using Netscape for sooo long that i need a change...a break....
Will be trying out Firefox for a while....

PS:- I am sorry if i hurt anyone's feelings by referin the browsers as females ;-D

Sunday, January 30, 2005

What is it???

Things are goin perfect....
Everything is sane and in its place....
Life seems too fruitful to beleive in....
I am soo in control of my life....
For a long time now,hardly anything is freaking me out....
And then there is this question mark!!!
What do i do with it???
Wher do i find its answer???
When do i find its answer???

Saturday, January 22, 2005

Sometimes....

Sometimes....sometimes...u know...sometimes....
There are soo many things to say and write that you just go blank when you actually sit down to write!!!
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days....

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
Someone is soooo sweet...you just cant ignore the person just becoz someone is askin you to...
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days....

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
Someone is soo damn irritating that you feel like kickin him/her but you have to control yourself just for the sake of it....
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days....

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You wanna talk sooo much with someone...but you dont find the words to express yourself...
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You wanna giv your best but the outcome is not what you want...
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You miss someone soo much that you just dont have the courage to call her (yup...its a 'her') bcoz you know you'll only miss her more...
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You think its over but something tells you thers more ahead...
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You just wanna keep lookin at someone and kiss....but only if the dreams were a reality!!
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...

Sometimes...sometimes..u know...sometimes....
You have absolutely no idea what you are going to write and then you have completed writing a post!!
Well...something like that is happenin here also these days...


Friday, January 14, 2005

: LOL :

Inspired (or shud i use another word) by Animesh's jokes...i decided to post one myself..I wanna show that guy i can crack better jokes than him...lol....
{Ani..wen u read this...all i wanna say to you..."I dint write this dude..really!" :-D }

This had come in the mail...Liked it to the extent that i am actually postin it!!!



WIFE: "What would you do if I die? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: - - -silence - -
HUSBAND: "Shit!"

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Who is 'small' here???

I was just going thru my Personal Diary today [yaa...i write the embarrasing stuff somewhere else ;-)]
I came upon this page i wrote a few months ago...Writing it as it is without any 'editing'....

"I dunno why I cant control my emotions when i see injustice around me...Its not that i am perfect but I cant see someone using the power in his/her hands and 'assumed' position to dominate me...
A thing happened today....
This one made me realize I am more lucky than most around me...
I was sittin in my class and there was this guy...nearly of the same age as mine...cleaning windows of our college...had never seen him before or rather anyone "cleaning" in our college...The poor guy was doing his work with utmost sincerity...Monetary inequality...
The lecture started and the guy continued his work without disturbing anyone & taking care not to make any noise and disturb us...
But then...the principal on his usual round saw him and threw him out of the class scolding him in front of the class...the reason?? because he was doing his work while the lecture was on...
He started shouting and blaberring abt how these 'small' ppl will always remain small and all the stupid crap!
How one man tryin to show off his power had 'stepped over' the integrity of a poor soul....
felt like going and hittin the principal on his face...bloody asshole...
The fucker didnot realize that he had diturbed the class 100 times more than the boy could ever have....."

Saturday, January 08, 2005

News!!!!!

Good News:

Results out! Results out! Results out! Results out! Results out! Results out!
Results out! Results out!Results out! Results out! Results out! Results out!
I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!!
I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!! I cleared!!

Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%!
Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%! Got 59%!


Bad News:
Missed 1st class by 1%!! Missed 1st class by 1%!! Missed 1st class by 1%!!
Missed 1st class by 1%!! Missed 1st class by 1%!! Missed 1st class by 1%!!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Monday, January 03, 2005

The couch....

I was sitting on my couch...well...doing nothing...(yaa...nothing!!)Try it sometime...it helps get out the best of thoughts in you....

I realized wat a suck up i am...fuckin around on my couch at 12:30 in the afternoon...having NOTHING to look forward to (read...NO 'GF')!!!!
I mean...Wat else can you possibly do in your vacation..without a gal !!!!

I decided to analyse why the hell am i still single...no...a totally fucked up single....
I remember having this discussion with my friend (Actually,that is the only discussion we have these days!!)(Ok...i m trying humour here) (Ok...I suck at it!!)
Anyway...Its not that we dont have gals around or that we have not got any chances....We have got many(Here..i seriously mean 'many'!!)
Its just that we always find that the gal is not of our 'level' or of our 'type'...In most of the cases this was true...thats y i am still single :-D

But today on the couch i realized...

"Sometimes holding yourself for 'everything'
can leave you with 'nothing'..."


Moral of the story....

Never sit on a couch and do nothing....It will only mess up your life even more...In short...IT SUCKS!!!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Life moves on...

Well...She stops a bit...slips now and then...She cries sometimes...She makes us cry...
She then laughs and we laugh with her...

In the end...She moves on....and we have to move with her....Thats LIFE!!!
The new year is here...and heres hoping that the wounds will be healed....

***`WISH YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR`***



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