...more...

I think the best part of growing up is letting go...of all the things you ever wanted...for the want of newer things...and better ones...and that excitement of getting it finally ...
Of course....you dont always get what you want...but...the way i see it...

"I think for the most part....if you are honest about what you really want...
...life gives it to you eventually..."

And the logical explanation for this is that...how much ever you are sad about losing some...its always that...your later part of life...ends up in smiles...so basically....life always gives you something better!
The idea is to remember this every time...

The one other thing i have learnt over the years is that you are solely responsible for all the decisions you make...
And i think I owe my parents a lot for raising me the way they did...never in my life have i been refused to something...I would be warned of its necessity and use...and whether i really needed it...but if i did want anything...i would very well get it...
This freedom has somewhere taught me to weigh everything i want in life...and if it really would be worth it...

Well...that "want" reminds me of the eyes i have set on the Nokia 5800....


Have been drooling over the piece right from when it was launched and have been desperate to lay my hands on one of my own....
Finally on the verge of buying it....almost i think...

The problem with guys is that they would never be satisfied with their gadgets...and its always that need for "more"....

This need though has always been a part of my life...
I was wondering over a point that one of my friends very well pointed out the other day...
"Why cant we be content with what we have....?"

But i think that is exactly the reason we are not monotonous...or aimless in life....the need to get "more" is what drives us i guess...
I mean...I get one thing...i could utilize it....be happy with it....and be content...
But nope....we look beyond...of what more can be done...what is "less" in what we have....

That is the also the exact reason why I am what i am...and where I am....with all the things i have...and all the things i dont have....

But i do plan to do some things differently now...nevertheless unsatisfied...but the search for "more" will be on...ALWAYS...

Exams...WORTHLESS...and its over now....

The final exams for getting a "worthless" MMS degree (I mite be too harsh here....okk....its wasnt all that worthless..it did do a bit of value additon...but a larger devalued payscale post MBA degree took away all that value which was added..okk...still doesnt qualify to be called worthless!!) are on...and writing the papers is more of a formality...where you just cant sit through all the 3 hours of the time alloted!

I came out about 45 minutes early today...and was sitting by the steps...just...sitting...

Peace...and then a sudden rush....people all around...10 different talks going on simultanoeusly...you try to be in every conversation...and get a gist of none in the end...people calling you from all directions...and the last thing evryone is talkin about is the "difficulty" level of the paper...The highlights of the talks are who took how many supplements...and who came out first...who was sitting idle through the paper...

Was just glancing around at everyone sitting at the steps...
"People everywhere... Where will all this go in a few days... I mean meeting people after a long gap for the exams was a nice thing...to see evryone again...but how long does it last from now...hardly days to go..."

And then you see the rush disappear slowly...back to the haunting slience on the floor...
Two years of your life with explainable and unexplainable memories....seriously....WHERE DOES IT GO??

Funny ramblings,serious complaints,mindless chatters,irritating gestures,that "at peace" feeling....and then the slience...idle...doing nothing at all...

"There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which I think no one will object to; and that is, every now and then to be completely idle - to do NOTHING at all."

You walk away from the college and you feel....It wasnt that "worthless" after all....

Filler post...an unecessary yet important update...

I have been wanting to blog for last 2-3 days...you know...had one of those moments when you say to yourself.."Oh my God...that is totally going in my blog!"

But for some reason...have stopped myself from doing so...Somewhere....I think it was the gap where the news had to simply sink in...and saturate itself in my mind...before i could actually write it down and confirm it...


Soo yes...Im PLACED...finally!!!
Was a difficult ocean of choices to make...but then...in this time of what everyone refers to as "recession" i think i made a descent tradeoff...

Oh yaa...forgot to mention...Ill be working for this firm below...



So then...Finally blogged it...

And ever since the placement...had a lot of "This is sooo going in my blog!" moments...

A nice morning stressed playing badminton in the heat...something about us engineering friends never changes...
We were just discussing how of all the people we have known in our lives....only the friends from Engineering are still in touch...and best of friends...
"Our priorities have definitely changed in the past few years....but we have known how to handle them and adjust to keep our friendship the way it was..."

And then there was the movie...

(The only motivation to watch this one was because the Director title read Nagesh Kukunoor...)
It is such an irritating and pathetic movie that im actually going to blog about it!!!
I mean...the movie is soo bad...that its not worth even going and sleeping through in the theaters...
I was so frustrated that wanted to throw something on the screen in anger...and when all i found in my hand was my mobile which was not worth letting go for such a bad and sick movie...we bought a bunch of popcorn...finished it as fast as we could...and threw it right at the screen...
Too bad though it dint actually reach the screen...but fell in between a couple who i think were checking each others dental cavities...mouth to mouth...poor chaps...cant afford a dentist fee i think...
I dunno why i am writing all this...but then...just trying to show you a "picture" of how bad a movie actually was...Both Thumbs and middle finger down to Nagesh Kukunoor (You really made Hyderabad Blues dude????)

Anyways...So then...as i was saying...Life seems relaxed for now...and i have been back to my senses somehow...and even though this post was just a "Ohh i got placed!" reminder...more of the "sensible" blogs will follow...

...steps...banter...coloured hair...small talk...

She was taking the stairs...I saw her from the passage below...
The moment was sudden...if i would have continued being in my thoughts, i would have almost missed her...

She looked at me...And tried not to react....just a faint smile....thats it...as if to wait for my reaction...
I moved up the stairs...closer to her...

I gazed at her...and said a faint "HI"...almost unheard...
She smiled again...

She looked different...beautiful...but different...coloured hair...golden highlights...still amazingly pleasant to look at and adore...

I was supposed to be angry with her...for not keeping in touch...and this time i was sure of not letting all that go so easily...

"The hair looks good...suits you....but never thought you would do something with your hair...considering you love it soo much!"
(Now this....was supposed to be my "fun joke conversation starter"! damnn it...i suck at this!)

"Yeha...just tried it cause my best friend insisted..." She said.

"Where are you these days yaar! I forgot the last time i spoke to you...werent you supposed to reply??"I asked, in a firm and staunch voice.
(I guess...i thought getting straight to the point was "the thing to do" then...since we dint have much to talk about otherwise...)

And then...it was back to normal...our childish arguments...the friendly banter...it was all back..

"Damn it...thats always the case,isnt it...i can never be angry with you!" I grunted,trying to stop her from playfully hitting me.

"NOPE....and thats the best part" She giggled.

The steps of the stairway started making a noise...as if they couldn't stand our argument...Mom was coming downstairs...

She gave us one look and said, "You both are at it again...Go upstairs...everyone is looking for you..."
And she kept moving downstairs....

We both looked at each other...smiled and started taking the steps up...

Me: "So....caught the new movie...?"
She: "You din give me any..."
Me: "You never asked or called..."
She: "Ohh....don start again...!"

Yeah....Dont start again....lets just stick to the small talk...

Meeting the good people...

I think the people who tell you that "you will get a job soon...very soon...You deserve better..." know themselves that they are lying to you...and that they really cant do much about it..
I think these good people too have reached the heights of their optimism and they must be out of words now to tell you...except saying "just hold on...a bit longer...it always has to end..."

I know of friends who just stop talking when i start whining about the present job scene and some even hang up the phone! (LOLzz)
Honestly, i can understand...I too am at a state where talking about the same thing again and again just doesnt seem good...Its as if you are out of topics for conversations with friends...
I mean...comeon...agreed...NOT having a job is all on your mind right now...but its not fair to always dump that load on your friends...everytime..
(i know all the ideal things that i am writing down right now...but as soon as this is over...ill be back to calling my friend again and whining jobs...jobs and more jobs...or maybe not...dunno...!)

Met some really good people today...they value your qualification...understand what you have put in these years of study and experience...and I am just glad that i met them...knowing that "goodness" still exists somewhere...
I dont mean to generalise...but i think it is only this "goodness" that takes you ahead in life...slefishness and jealously leads you no where...it might get you your first break...the second maybe...it might even get you to far ahead than that...

But give it just one little thought....When you will look at your life from there...you wont be able to live at peace anymore...and will just plain die of frustrating guilt...and it will slowly start eating you up from inside...

No wonder...people who take the selfish path....end up creating a mess of themselves in the end...

Back to the good people...


Notice this...All the top managers you will meet in your life...the "real" successful ones...are always soft spoken...and the "understanding" ones...and they will impress you just by their grace and awe...and thats what it is...you have to be a giving person to get that kinda respect in life...

I have come across amazingly shocking selfishness in the past few years...
Yes...it hurts me that these people generally get away with everything...But in the end...its just the same old story of guilt and internal conflict i guess...that makes them see their end...
I am not guessin it...I KNOW IT!

Imagine...10 years down the line...
What do you choose...a series of guilty thoughts about how you ran over people to get where you are...
OR
A satisfying feeling of peace knowing you have helped others all the way...

Actually....its a choice you have already made...so all the best with it...

Hope...has a new meaning...

For what it's worth: it's never too late or too early to be whoever u want to be.

There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.
You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.

We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it.
And I hope you see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things you never felt before.
I hope you meet people with a different point of view.

I hope you live a life you're proud of.
If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

Thoughts in a meaningless conversation

"You know....its like....Dont believe anything until you truly have it...Just let it be in your hand for sure...Feel it...savor it...touch it...only then act on it...!"

I did not really get what that sentence meant in a conversation about...believe it or faint...A CHEESE SANDWICH!

I guess somewhere he was trying to talk on a completely different level which i did not understand...or amybe i was just too busy enjoying my sandwich...

As he spoke....more and more...i drifted away...
Was thinking about this person i know...and about why people behave the way they do...about how...when you feel so close to a person and the person cant feel that way for you...the level of friendship isnt the same...
And then i realised that even i do the same with a lot of people...i am close...but then i stay aloof...i care...but i refrain...
I guess its about self protection...somewhere not letting yourself hurt too much...How i wish life would offer the same level of closeness in friendships to everyone...and we then might not categorize people into BEST friends and GOOD friends...

I then suddenly got back to the conversation with this person...
"I never got where I thought I wanted to go, but I always have got a great story...."

Now that was a good line i thought as i got a sip of my coffee...
"Yeah...i like the idea of how everyones Life is actually a movie in the making...it has everything...Drama...Emotions...Love...Romance...Horror...I wonder still...why cant we just eat a popcorn casually while living it through...like we do while watching movies..." I said.

And then...the guy started talking about something to do with this new movie called Twilight and about vampires and stuff....enough reason for me to drift away again...

And I again thought of the same person i mentioned earlier....about the time we spent...and i realized...if she would be a part of my life (not in a romantic way....let me be clear...but just for the sake of a great friendship...something like...wat you call a "BEST friend"...) say...anytime in the future...now that would be a great future to look forward to!!
I dunno the end...but i sure know the journey to the end would be great...

I still hate the fact....that level of BEST friendship doesnt always happen both ways...it has with some...it just abruptly ended with others...and it sucks that it is that way...!
I wish we had a LOCK...or a METER...where we could decide the level of friendship and care beforehand...when you meet the person for the first time...and it be the same forever...no more...no less...

"Are you in this world??? Helllooo!!!" ,He called me out...
"Yes...yes of course Im here dude...What were you saying again...?

"I was saying....how much CHEESE do you eat in a week?"

Huh....back to a meaningless conversation and more drifting away....

Infosys...Silence..Blogging...and What else?

There are some weeks in your life...When you just have nothing to say or talk about...You are just there....doing your thing....or maybe not doing anything (Like my case these days...) and Life is just rolling...

And the phone conversations cover the same topic...
"So....whats up these days?"
"Nothing re...the usual...what else?"

And you think...When will these days pass...they do of course eventually...but the time till that moment comes when you have a phone call that says...
"Heyyy...I have some news!!"
That moment is what you crave during this lurking sad phase of life...(okay...Sad is a harsh word...would BORING and Lifeless be a better substitute?)

Apparently...had one such conversation today...

Was telling my friend...who is an employee of Infosys...about how todays newspapers are flashing the news about Infy hiring about 20 thousand freshers even in this crisis period...and that too with a 8% salary hike than previous freshers!
"I cant understand mann....all other IT companies have freezed recruitment....how can Infy afford to do this?"

And then came the analysis...
"They are cuting down our salaries...they wont remove people...they will hire more freshers...and bring us and them to our salary level now...Also...they are planning to increase the hirarchy structure wherein getting promotions will take longer...So...Basically...what the most "ethical" company in India is telling the media is just half truth....to generate hype...but they are doing more than just hiring...they are reducing other costs in its place..."

"Hmm...Clever people" I said to myself...
After all...In this country...playing with words is all you need to make lotsa money...meltdown or no meltdown...

You know...there are some people in your phone book or your messenger list....whom you wanna call or chat...even though there is absolutely NOTHING to say...
Strange it is....how you miss even the silence in such relationships!
:-)

Was thinking about how i have inspired many people to turn to blogging...and about how it has helped them...I think its great that people write...its always good to have your story written down somewhere...
Someday when you are old...you can refer back to these memories...and may laugh,cry or just plain ponder over it...about how life has turned out...and was it really meant to be this way always...

I feel that every guy/girl in this world has a great story to tell..and each one has an equally interesting tale...its all about how well you can actually LIVE it!
(If this line doesnt make sense to you right now....don worry...remember it....it will soon make sense... )

So....tell me...WHAT ELSE?
:-)

...must read...

I have reading a lot regularly these days...Now of course mainly because i have nothing productive to do...But then...its good in a way...reading and completing books which were long pending..
Now...I dont generally write about books in my blog...actually...this is actually the first time i am even mentioning it...and there is a reason for it...

I actually have a fairly good collection of books and I do keep a track of all the latest books doing the circles...
This blog post however is not abt my collection of books...its about this book i just finished reading...

Its a autobiography by LEE ICOCCA...I think its a must read for any person who has seen FAILURE in his life...small or big...
The guy has done some amazing deeds...taken Chrysler from a 160 million loss to one of the best car company it is now...
The book also reflects office politics at FORD and the best thing is ...he is blunt at blaming and abusing Henry Ford for all the pain he caused him...
(And its not like he is balming him in the air....he gives facts and situations where Henry was wrong!)

Everyone who dreams of making it big...should catch this book...because...somewhere it teaches you how to stand up when you fall...

"The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come."

"Apply yourself. Get all the education you can, but then, by God, do something. Don't just stand there, make it happen."

"In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive."

...YAWN...

So today i have decided to finally end the long lame phase of my life...and before i get used to the laziness and sleep...im gonna get out of it...
The common chat on gtalk these days is not about what did I or my friends do during the day...but about how long we lazed around...how much we slept...and how...having nothing to do these days is actually a sad thing!

So...amidst the sleepless nights and mornings which would start at 12.00 in the noon....the past week went by really quickly...by the time i used to wake up....it was again time to sleep...and since i had been already sleeping the whole day...i used to be awake mostly through the night...
A friend pointed out that I am actually now living US time...i however joke around sayin that since there are no jobs...i am training myself to work in a call centre...sleeping through the day and stayin awake at night...!

As I was saying...the week went by quick...
A.R.Rahman came and took away the Oscar...good for him...but i dont understand why the whole country is going hoopla over his win so much...! (As if you had anything to do with the talent he developed all these years!)
Let him enjoy his glory people...He deserves it every bit...

And now...on every chat show you see...this is a standard question..
"So...If you win the Oscar...what will be your thank you speech??"
And to imagine..this was asked to Abhijeet Sawant (the first Indian Idol who is now making a movie debut! omg! omggg!!!) of all the people!
Yaa...him winning the Oscars would be a scene to watch!! Ill choke with amusement that day!

Ohh well...what will they show on TV 24/7 anyways...they have to come up with some crap right...in the name of entertainment...
The times are so bad...that COLLEGE FESTS are becoming reality shows on TV these days!!!
(I mean...i dont get it....wat will be the "thrill" in such a relaity show? ohhhh....the lights are not fixed properly...!!!! everyone bite their teeth!!! huh!)

Not falling behind is this other music channel...they covered a college fest recently....and guess what they were asking students in the campus....
"Who is the hottest teacher in this college?" (add to it the VJs' sad British/Mexican/American accent!)

WHERE THE HELL HAS THE WORD "Creativity" GONE FROM OUR DICTIONARIES !

I mean seriously....dont blame me now for sleeping the whole day with no work...when this is what i get to watch on television!!!
YAWNNN