...OVER used word...

"I think I'm at it again...I think i have one more serious crush...
I soo dont want fall into it...but who can stop oneself from falling in love...
Ahhh....the complete agony of being in love...the pain...the hurt... (getting flimy)"

"Dude...Not again mann...Get a hold of yourself....you and your stupid crushes...they don go anywhere...irrelevant conversations you will have about the girl...you will not do anything about it again...and thats all that is there to it! As always...Plus...you cant really afford to fall in love now..."

"Hmm....i know i cant...she is too good for me...She wont even think of me..."

"Not really...that all is ok...she might even consider you...but then...its recession time...lets cut down on expenses of having a GF shall we...?"


Now....was that even a joke?
Sad conversations...everyone just has to use that word somewhere....for everything these days...a common answer is RECESSION...

Recessions hits?

Have been tracking the IPL Cricket bidding today...And i am amazed at the rate at which players were bought...
Umm...suddenly....it makes you wonder...theres the MONEY....who said we are under something called 'recession'???

I salute who ever came up with this new business tactic...mix two of the most liked industries in the country...Bollywood and Cricket...and you have a never ending inflow of cash...
The sad part of this country called INDIA is...the least educated people run it...and also...the lesser educated and more wasted you are...the more success you get...

I know..i know..they work hard...but I am sure not as hard as an IITian does...and still...in any which ways...this IITian will find himself working for one of these rich glamourous idols...
We talk about 1 crore salaries which IIM and ISB students get....we are amazed...and we pass...without ever thinking...that in this country...an actress who hasnt even passed 12th properly earns about 42 crores every year...
Seriously mann...WHERE IS THE RECESSION???

Is it just some new buzz word brought into the market to make us unemployed fools feel something good to talk about...?

After watching the whole hoopla and the way money is being churned in this new business called INDIAN PREMIERE LEAGUE...i feel that if someone really wants to make money...the market conditions dont matter....no recession matters...all that matters is whether you know how to make a fool out of the world...

Worst part is...I myself am a part of this mess and i really dont know what I can do about it...I give it a thought...and i find myself completely helpless...!!
(Now...how did that happen I wonder...)

Since we are talking about money...it reminded me of something i came across the other day...
My laundry man had brought a wedding invitation of his daughter to invite our family and bless the couple on the auspicious day...
After a casual talk of how and where is his relatives coming from for the wedding and about how are the preparations going on in general...I came down to a count of 4 bunglows and a Honda City that the guy owns....and all this....from a conversation for about 5 mins!!
(I knw...makes you wanna leave what you are presently doing and become a Laundary man!)

Ahhh....the MONEY is there....its all about HOW you get it...
...and Education least helps!!

Again...one last time...Where is the RECESSION ?? Definitley not for the RICH atleast...

...Funny...

My ORKUT profile displayed the following fortune today...

Today's fortune: The guy who reads your fortune is not feeling well. We hope you are.

It might seem like a very sad joke...but what amazes me is that even though it was a joke...it pretty well catches my mood today...!!

WHO AM I?

I was asked this question by a friend today...
"tell me...Who are you?"

For the 2 mins of that aimless conversation...i had nothing to say...so he gave me a paper and a pen and said..
"you "write" better than you "think"...so...i give you exactly 2 mins...write down anything and everything that comes to your mind..."

And so i wrote the following....I still dont know what the whole point of the exercise was and why am i blogging it...but then...when i read these points again...i can see gaps in myself which i can work on...

1. A highly over ambitious dude who aims for the best in life without realising sometimes that destiny perhaps too has a role
2. A moody freak who can have an extreme high or low of life in almost a split second
3. An fool who doesn't have the patience to accept anything going wrong and has to react even at the cost of losing all respect
4. An impulsive jerk who sometimes does what is the absolute correct but with absolute wrong timings
5. A person who lives almost for others and who can go to any extent to make someones day
6. A heart which gets affected by small things people close to him do wrongly and maybe never realise
7. A impatient fool who has to have things the "right" way...sometimes...only his way being the only way which is correct
   
8. A hopeless romantic who lives in his own dreams
9. A emotional jerk who is trying to cope with the practical way of living life.

I think everyone should try this...it might just help...

"The only true wisdom is in knowing that you know nothing."

...ramblings through the night...

I was sitting on my bed the other evening and i found myself completely lost...just looked around the room aimlessly...not knwin what exactly is running through my mind...
Have ever had that feeling of being in a state where you just dont know what is goin on...
You are very much there...but your mind just goes blank...

Dont know why...but i am feeling aimless and lost for the past two days...
Have been thinking about a lot of things actually...but i just cant draw a point nor can i lead my scattered thoughts to any strong or sane conclusions...
Just random thoughts...situations....memories...people...come and cross the mind...and i find myself sitting at one place...trying to put some meaning to things...

I realised that i think too much about other people around me than myself...Everything that i do really is out of a consequence or need for others...in some way or other...
Not that i am not thinking about myself...but i feel its more that...my existence is a parallel stream of the events that i do for the other people around...

Its 2.15 a.m. in my watch right now...and i cant catch a wink of sleep...
I was lying on my bed...surprisingly...still thinkin about a person i know and what i can do to make this persons life better...
"maybe this should happen...or if i am there...i can do this for her..."
arrghh...cant really stop it u see...

Was cursing Rakesh today on the phone...telling him how his priorities have changed for a girl...and how everything that he does...revolves around just one person...how much ever he refuses to accept it...
I guess it happens to everyone...when you find that one important person in your life...everything else comes secondary...
The problem with my life is that i have more than countable such people...for whom my priorities keep shifting...

I wont call it love...its something more than that...its a feeling you cannot explain nor can u ever forget in your life...the satisfaction u get for making someones day!

Was siting today in the evening and thinking about the whole concept called LOVE...I dont think there is any such thing...just some manipulation of two peoples mind until they realise they are not fit for each other and start fighting again...
I always thought love has to happen naturally...that it makes you feel special...and it is always the feeling which makes you smile....

I now believe in being practical about things...not get affected by people...not be too attached...just coz it doesnt pay back...and if ever there exist such a concept called love....it just accfects you now and then...positively or negatively...and right now...i dont think i can give anything that much chance to affect myself...
Here...i am not just talking about relationships...it goes to families....friends....everyone around me...

Someone once told me that i live in a dream world...and that is why...i always get hurt...i think i now knw...that it is not my dreams...but my expectations of making other peoples life okay that constantly keeps torturing me...and the worst part is...how much ever i try...i cant make it stop...nor...can i stop trying or behaving the way i do...how much ever i say it affects me or how much ever i say i want to be practical about things...

I really dont know what i am saying is making any sense at all coz i am just writing down anything and everything that is coming to my mind...
(what else do u expect at 2.30 at night!)

I think i am seriously falling in love...and i need to stop myself from even getting closer to the idea of being in love...coz i think i have far realised that I definitely am not a person who will ever get LOVE in his life...
With me, Love is like the most the prettiest,smartest and cutest girl in your college...you know you like her...you know no one in this world can ever understand her better...you know you are the only one she is perfect to be with...but all you can actually do...out of the dream world...is to watch her fall in love with the geekiest guy in your college...!
(what a metaphor i must say...but very true indeed...and i must say...Love actually is like that!)

Okay...now....when i read this post 20 years from now and try to remember who was this person i am talkin abt....i would just like to uplaod a pic of hers...so that there is no confusion..

Yupp...thats her...Cobie Smulders is her name...

Have watched all the seasons of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER including the one presently running almost 3 times by now...

I simply loooove this serial mannn...Beleive it or faint...i have been actually coaxing people around me to watch it...almost to the exent of torturing them in to seeing it...
(One of my friends asked me how much do the producers pay me for promoting the serial in India...!)


Well...the idea of the serial is very close to my heart....A guy telling his children about how he met their mother...
I wish i could ever have a story...it would be fun....
Now thats something eh!

Being too happy and ....BALLS!

Can you ever be so happy that you are scared that something bad might just happen...after all...Life works in phases of good and bad...
I have seen people who live in the good of things...its as if nothing seems to trouble them...and the contentment shows on their face..
My friends argue though that no one can be totally happy and blessed all the time...Everyone suffers...its just how much of it you see as a third person...

I go back to thinking that i have never been too happy or excited about anything till now...you know...the happiness that will make you shout out loud...and i wonder sometimes if that will ever come to me...
but then i guess if thats the case...and if life balances itself in everything it does....i would never have experienced immense sorrow or pain too...and then...whenever i felt this was the most painful moment of my life...maybe it really wasnt....it could have been worse...

There are certain things in my life to which i dont give a damn...Some things have just stopped mattering...and I think somewhere...I have killed a part of me for that...in trying to be more practical towards life than the emotional fool i was...

Yesterday I did something which i and the whole class of MBA will remember for a very long time i think...
I still argue with my conflicting thoughts of whether what i did was right or wrong...but i think...what happened was just waiting to be done...today or tomorrow...
I dont know if anyone else has the balls to stand up for the stupidity and manipulation which goes on...but from what i have learnt in my life..Someone has to stand up for what is right...If people can be unreasonable because of their authority...someone has to show them the limits...and i am glad everyone agrees to that...

"THE MORE YOU KEEP QUIET AND SHOW NO PAIN...THE MORE PEOPLE WILL PIERCE THE KNIFE DOWN YOUR STOMUCH"

Incomplete

Just not feeling good today....I think i know whats bothering me...but i dont need to accept it...
Feel like getting drunk and cool off somewhere...(damnn...the sad part here is...i am not much of a drinker..hate it actually!)
I wish life was simple...where you did not have to think so much...where things would role the way you wanted to...FOR ONCE at least!!!

This is not really frustration thats coming out...its stress i think...and a sort of pain of seeing things happen the way they do...with you just being a blank observant...waiting for a chance or a jolt of serendipity to strike...
You always know though at the back of your mind that it never will...it never has...

I dont know what it takes these days...Life is amazingly good..but not excellent...and its not about my expectations...but I keep getting this hunch that I could do things better....that life can be more beautiful...and the only thing thats stopping that from happening is the acceptance of a certain facts...and a fear of spoiling a perfectly good life...

I wrote the above lines abt an hour ago and i have no idea really what it implies...but it does reflect the confused state of mind i am...and the funny part is....i am repeating myself again and again about the same thing...without actually knowing where i want these thoughts to go or conclude...

College will be over in a few days...and it wont really matter...For me...it will be an apt change...and i think a smooth transition...
Was speaking to a friend outside college about the past one and a half years...the college life in general...
and by the end of the conversation...I revealed to him what i think i shuldnt have touched really...
It just came out...and i soo wish i dint keep thinking about it all the time now...
(Ohh boyyy...that will be really badd!)

He asked me if i would seriously not miss anything from college...and even though he was not surprised by my negative answer....he pointed out a thing that would not leave me for long....

"I agree you wont miss college...but then why are you carrying that incomplete feeling with you now...as if something is still to be done...somethin is left behind..."

I wont say he is wrong..because i know what is incomplete...left undone...but let it remain...its better untouched...

The knowable world is incomplete if seen from any one point of view, incoherent if seen from all points of view at once, and empty if seen from nowhere in particular.

New Year and a special moment...

This is the first New Years eve that i did not feel like getting out of the house...Surprisingly enough...This was also the first time that my friends had a concrete plan for a party...
Every other time...you will find us contemplating on ten different places and finally landing up having absolutely no idea how we are going to spend the final night of the year...
But yes...We do end up always having the best time of our lives!

This time it was different though...and i preferred to stay at home...Did not really go out and party...
I really dont know the reason...Sometimes there is no reason...just a bit of incompleteness in the whole going out and partying thing...
Maybe now i want something else...spend time with someone else...i really dont know what it is...

I have had a great year end....I always do actually...December is always good...its always about a new hope and a new running...something positive...everything good...
and i am happy...and i am glad about how the air feels around...You know nothing is there to stop you...stop you from doing good...

You know...thats the beauty of having these few people around...you always know..that regularly...your days will look special...once in a while maybe...but untill they are around...YOU WILL HAVE FUN!

I came across this poem today...and i am sure i will be using it at a very speacial moment in my life...I really dont know when...but i will...
Read this slowly...and i will kill myself you you arent amazed!

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear.. no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet) i want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true) and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart... i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

If that did not bring a smile on your face....I really dont know what will...!!!

I was just sitting on my bed today...and i realised...i am having a serious crush on this gal i knw...!
(ohh....now i knw you are dying to know who that is...and yeahh....its not about to be told...so forget it!)

The season where evry1 wants to get married...!

Have you noticed the number of people getting married these days...its as if the world is suddenly coming to an end and all the people decided to enter marital life in a rush before they die!

I have actually lost count of the number of wedding invitations coming to our place everyday...and considering my own elder brothers wedding is to be in February...it all seems....well... wierd!!

School friends....college friends...buddies...suddenly...are now people who are starting a family!

Well...thats life i guess...every day is a new surprise...

The wonder though...that all the people who marry...each one of them....never expects that he/she will be in the 46% of the couples whose marriages eventually failed over a period of time...
Bad thing to expect when you are getting married but still...but knowing this...If you still go ahead with it...mannn....that girl/boy must be really worth it eh!

Looking at me and looking at people around...I wish relationships were a bit easier...they are in a way...always...but we always have to find atleast one small reason (tiny winy reason may it be!) to make it complicated...
Of course....how else will you add that "masala" to your life...

Come to think of it...If i met a girl...i approached her...we became friends...i realised i love her...she feels the same...and there you go...lifes a bliss...there are flowers and dried leaves falling from god knws where...and suddenly...in the middle of the day...i burst out into a romantic song...!

I mean...if it was always this simple...what would be the fun in it???
Its like a Karan Johar movie...which just started and ended its story in the trailor!!
(OMG...that would be real sadd...wont it!)

So...the conclusion here will be... MAKE A LOVE STORY THAT INSPIRES KARAN JOHAR TO MAKE A MOVIE OUT OF!
Full on emotions...drama...romance...fun...!
~ LOL ~
(Godd...i cant believe i jut wrote that! ill ignore the above lines everytime i read this blog...and if someone does ask... im in complete denail that i wrote it!)

How many times in your life...have you seen a person, Everytime you meet someone interesting , and said..."What will it be like being in a relationship with this person?"
How much ever you deny it...If you are single...i guarantee you do it every single time..conciously or subconciously...!

The point here is...there are many people in your life...I only wished the equation to relationships was a bit simple...if it always clicked the very first time...and more importantly...BOTH DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT!!

I admit it...I DREAM of Love..almost every second...every minute...And i find it to be perfect...mainly because its a picture of something i would and always want to have...And of course, Life is different in it...it is good...nice...heart warming...
Dont ask me whom i dream of...coz its not a girl i dream of...its love...the girl...will eventually follow someday...
:-)

amol: Why just ppl cant live a simple practicle life than complicated dreamy life
Prasad: coz we always try to turn our dreams into reality

amol: thats where we make our life miserable

Prasad: for some ppl...its the way to live...

amol: the dream u r talking about is about ur passion to be something

not impossible things...and then u make other ppls lives miserable

Prasad: but thats wat....ur dreams are abt YOU...they were never abt others!

amol: so while pursuing that dream we effect other ppls lives

Prasad: maybe...little realising that even your life is gettin affected

:)

something i want...but something i dont expect...

I think the biggest thing about old friendship is that it just gets crisper and crisper with time...
Some of the friends you made...can never be let gone of...no matter what happens....things have to get back to normal...as if nothing happened...
That exactly shows the purity of that relationship...and most importantly...how much you and the other person/people value the pure bond you share...

It cant be let gone of ever...cant be replaced...and thats the bottom line!

I was telling a friend the other day about how i have realised the kind of person i am...and about how i can genuinely care for some people...maybe do things out of my way...
I only do things that come naturally to me...and maybe its because thats the way i am...i wont do anything out of force or compulsion...so...whatever happens...its normal..and natural...

I will not change the person that i am...i just cannot do that....but definitely....now...i have become careful...and practical to some extent...

I wanna do many things...but i stop myself from doing it....somewhere its about how people with take it...and what will the consequences be...about whether or not they deserve that much of importance in my life...

I believe strongly now...that if things have to happen....if friendships are to be immortal...if love has to last....it happpens naturally...and somehow...it is destined to be...

I have had some really good time in the past few days...memories and moments i will cherish for life...

A silent conversation...a funny story...bits of paper joining lives...A dark night...a look that says it all...a moment to cry it all out...a caring word that changes everything...close yet so distant...

...and i think its because i have learnt to let go...and not hold on to things...expecting they will materialize and be a part of my life...but doing what is to be done...and what you feel like doing...

Learn to give share and care selflessly...it might not return the same from the same source...but it will help another part of your life...
sometimes...where more is needed...
When you really want something,have the courage to walk away from it...