C H A N G E

The two sat on the sea bed....grazing at the water...the horizon seemed endless...

He looked at her...and said...

"Do you really need someone in your life who can change the way you are...I mean...you might be doing right...or wrong...but why do u need to change it...lead the way you lead life...if it fucks you...let it...wat difference does it really make?"

She: "Yaa...sure....you don need to change it...but it does change somehow always right...someone brings you to the right path....someone takes to more towards the evil..."

He: " Only if you allow it...dont let people influence you..."

She: "Its not abt "not" letting people influence...its abt identifying the people who mean good for you.."

He: "I dont think anyone can change the way i think or behave..."

She: " Someone just did...."

And she walked away....

He looked at her go...he turned and gazed at the sunset...with a smile on his face...

THE SELL OUT!

The news is big...the economy is down the drains...

Lehman Brothers have declared bankruptcy...The losses of Merill Lynch were so unbearable that its now sold to Bank Of America...and AIG is now soon to touch liquidation...

So now when these top companies are getting screwed...the big question is...what will happen toy YOU??

If they cant keep their money safe...what will happen to yours in the near future...

Was just talkin to a friend....abt the lehman sell out....look at his response

Saumit:
actually mera ek friend tha.. SIES MBA.. Lehman mein tha...
until last saturday at least...
~Prasad~:
:D
LOLzzzzz
Saumit:
we spoke at length about how there's a complete lack of activity @ wall street
and emerging markets kaise boom ho rahe hain
~Prasad~: okk...
Saumit:
too bad the fellow is jobless now :P

Ofcourse...before that...the bigger question for to-be-MBAs like me is....blodddy....where is the money goin to come from in the first place?????

The job market is going down like a rocket shot in the wrong direction...! To top this...people around havent even relaised what is goin to hit them in the days to come...how can they be sooo complacent abt things???

Strange....very strange....either too smart....or too unaware of whats happening around!

Sometimes people can be so caught up with themselves that they consider that whatever they do is justified and is right....just because of the stupid "this is how i am" attitude...

I just hope that by the time things hit them...its not too late!!

There are some moments in you life that make you feel that Life is really good...the freshness of goodness just blows you away sometimes....

Small things like you know for example....in the morning office rush hours...some people taking time out to put off all the lights and fans in the train...after the compartment has gone empty...makes you feel that there still is "concern" left in this world...somewhere the positivity is still there...

A smile in the corridor everyday...just makes your day...sometimes...such small things also do matter...when you take them away...there is no meaning left...

Have been giving this movie called "STAND BY ME (1986)" to all my friends...to an extent that im actually forcing them to watch it...!!

Its an amazing tale of two friends...a must watch for any person who values friendship....

================================================

Gordie: Fuck writing, I don't want to be a writer. It's stupid, it's a stupid waste of time. 
Chris: That's your dad talking. 
Gordie: Bullshit. 
Chris: Bull true. 
Chris: I know how your dad feels about you. He doesn't give a shit about you! Denny was the one he cared about and don't try to tell me different. Your just a kid, Gordie. 
Gordie: Oh, gee, thanks, Dad! 
Chris: Wish the hell I was your dad. You wouldn't be goin' around talkin' about takin' these stupid shop courses if I was. It's like God gave you something man, all those stories you can make up. And He said, "this is what we got for ya kid, try not to lose it." Kids lose everything unless there's someone there to look out for them. And if your parents are too fucked up to do it, then maybe I should! 

================================================

Teddy: This is my age! I'm in the prime of my youth and I'll only be young once. 
Chris: Yeah, but you're gonna be stupid for the rest of your life. 

=====================================================

The Writer: [voiceover] It happens sometimes. Friends come in and out of our lives like busboys in a restaurant. 

The Writer: [typing on computer] I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

=====================================================

The Writer: It was weird to me how, then, Teddy could care so much about his father, who practically tried to kill him, and I couldn't give a shit about my old man and he hadn't laid a hand on me since I was three! 

Friendship

There are a certain people in your life...whose friendship for you doesnt change over time...
You feel the same warmth of their love every time you meet them...and i love that essence of true friendship!

Have had some really fun days in the past week...Living the life i want to live...grasping that every second i can stay away from what frustrates me and breathing...yess....BREATHING...!!

I realized that their are a very few people in your life...they just stick by you if they really want to...they value you and respect you...and that feeling which you feel when you know people want you to be with them is amazing...!

Somewhere....when you are there....experiencing the moment...you just let go...
Just relax...

I cant believe that I have actually become a part of a story about how you should NOT form a friendship...and people take an example of what should be avoided to sustain their friendships...!
LOL
Fcuk it!
Take a good look at your fake lives before that people!!

Btw...since i am talking abt friendship...ROCK ON is a must watch!!
Its actually the first movie i have watched TWICE in the multiplex...


I was telling a friend the other day, I actually like some people in college...i am desperate if you may call it....to meet them everyday...atleast say hi...and i genuinely feel that way about them...and its not because they are really close friends or anythin...its something else...
Cant really put a definition to it...
But its there...and its nice...

I look up the sky and wish...
"Let that feeling be..."

How much ever i hate going to college....atleast i have these people to look out for!

The Moment

The moment passes by,
It always does..
And yet,
You see it go.

Feel the moment?
Or, capture it? Or maybe both?
And yet,
You do none.

Shock, is that what it is?
You are suppose, dear,
To shock the world.
And yet.

Don't miss it, please,
If it comes back.
It will,
For YOU.

HAcked!

Found this writing today...Its like an anthem for hackers the world over...
But i am puttin it down for a completely different reason...

The Hacker Manifesto

by
+++The Mentor+++
Written January 8, 1986

Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

...ramblings...

OUTSIDE COLLEGE: (7:30 am)

I am loving the morning breeze these days....world outside the "routine" is peaceful...it almost like falling in love with life...
I feel like going for a long walk...just...away...quiet serene calmness...
This is the time you need people close to you around you...
You think about what the days have been...and its been nice overall...

IN COLLEGE: (6:00 pm)

People around dont affect me anymore...I know i need to get out of the frustrating air around...my life is not worth wasting time here...in this room...choked up....desperate to break free...
Let people be....let them bloody suck at their stupid lives and feel good about what they are doing...

I know for sure...I am not a part of this...I have been true to myself and have done things with utter honesty...IT WILL PAY OFF...
If it doesnt...well...in Prof. Venkys words....BALLS!!!

A bit worried about placements these days...just wanna get it done and move out of college...have had enough of it...
Hoping my efforts pay off somewhere and i get in soon...
Once thats done....I knw my attitude will change...and ill be at peace somewhere...

I want to prove it to myself....that i am worth it..!!
And that people who have insulted me...are not right in what they did...because somewhere....they have hurt me soo much...that they have taken my confidence away...

I like Victors lecture...not that i completely agree to what he says....but its like a reflection of life thats happening around you...in your life...home...family...friends...
And somewhere you feel....there is more to this than just 2 years of "college life"

:-)

12:45 in the night....two friends walk the streets of Mumbai...somewhere at peace...somewhere its good...

You are not where you hated to be...away from the routine...the life u hate right now....and it feels nice for a change...

"I wonder how life wud be if we had grown in this part of the city....Our whole thinking process wud be different...Life would be different....the people around would be different...Nice it would be to start again somehow...in a completely different setting.."

"I think its the place we have been bought up...we are somewhere stuck in between..."

I agree...
but still...i feel...I wonder....Why this life...???

I look at the dark sky....and i SMILE...

"A new life....a new beginning...tell me life whats waiting for me...
A new life...a new beginning...tell me life whats my world, my destiny..."

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone.
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

-From "The Family Album of Favorite Poems." Edited by P. Edward Ernest-

Self conflict...Broken Glass

I somehow have lost all confidence to handle myself...Things at home are out of my control...people just keep screaming for no reason and i just try to ignore...keep quiet...but it does affect me i knw...somehwre because...there is no one to listen to my side of the story...

You sit down one day and decide that you are going to deliver good...and you stick to it no matter what...
Somehow...Now I am at a stage where i cant find the difference between right and wrong...Of what I am doing will hurt people...should i just move away...stay away...

I want people around....but will they be able to handle me...Coz i might just freak out someday...to avoid getting people too attached...

I really dont know what to do with myself...It just seems that whatever i did or the person i was till now...is all being challenged...

There is so much pretence around that it kills me from inside...i wish i could just wake people up and show them the reality...
But i knw...no one believes you...Whom do i share the truth with then...
Just keep it inside and keep getting frustrated...

The reason...coz the world doesnt see what you do...they just get carried away by the fake and pretence...

Fucking Self conflict!!
Someone just take me away...

Broken Glass

Look at all that broken glass
Dreams that never came to pass
A word unsaid,
A path untread,
And a host of uncompleted tasks.

Time is cruel, time's a cheat,
Time stays put, time does fleet:
A moment in the past
A lifetime can last,
And a lifetime is lost in momentary heat.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust
Life goes on, it's life, it must.
But the realms of the mind
Hold memories unkind
Of unkept promises and broken trust.

When summer thus changes to wintertime
Come, my friend to a warmer clime
Cos there's someone who cares
Someone who shares
Your sorrows as well as your happy times.

selfish

i hate the words "Live and Let live..."

Esp when everyone around acts so selfish...when everything around you seems as though its give and take...

I feel that its a bad thing to be selfless in this world...it just doesnt pay somewhere...

People who do things for their own selfish reasons...always end up getting what they want...Everything turns out to be happy for them...

And emotional fools like me...end up being where i am...looking like a LOSER in between these millions of selfish souls...
Ruthless life is...no place for honesty...full of fakes...how can people not see the pretense?????

I think i need a break...or some change in my life pattern...seem to have lost my aura somewhere...

Went on my building terrace and shouted today at the top of my voice....felt really good....getting it all out...

Damn you God....lets meet in heaven...WE HAVE TO TALK!!!

Talking thru the eyes....

Had a fun day today...seemed like the longest journey back home...
Was singing the most amazing songs in the most crappiest voice with college friends...and was just plain having fun...

Chaahe Jo Tumhe Poore Dil Se
Milta Hai Woh Mushkil Se
Aisa Jo Koi Kahin Hai
Bas Vahi Sabse Hasin Hai
Us Haath Ko Tum Thaam Lo
Woh Meherbaan Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan
Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama
Kal Ho Na Ho

Palko Ke Leke Saaye
Paas Koi Jo Aaye
Lakh Sambhalo Paagal Dil Ko
Dil Dhadke Hi Jaaye
Par Sochlo Is Pal Hai Jo
Woh Dastan Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan
Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama
Kal Ho Na Ho
Har Pal Yahan
Jee Bhar Jiyo Jo Hai Sama
Kal Ho Na Ho

Thankgod for them...atleast i can put a certain issues at the back of my head...



I never believed people could talk to through eyes...at least it never happened to me ever before...But then...sometimes that eye to eye look for a small moment says soo much...and then it just naturally follows a smile...
It feels amazing at times...as if u dont need to say anything...
May be there is nothing to communicate...but then...its still feels good...
I dunno how i missed it for sooo long....or rather..how did i notice it after soo long!

Jaya and Ekta wrote down a list of good qualities that i have...
LOL....funny it was...nice to knw that someone cares...
I will never ever forget the fact that Jaya was always the only person to ask me everyday "How are you?" "Did you have lunch?" "Everything ok..?" and this was when i needed it the most...