A realization dawned...

I feel a bit free minded today...relaxing to good music...

Had a tough day...some unprepared tests and a meaningless presentation have been completed well and with full satisfaction...

Attended a guest lecture on "Creativity" today...the lecture did not quite have an impact on me...but i was thinking of some things and situations which have changed my life in the past years...and somewhere has made me the person i am today...

Have had some gr8 moments in these past few days...

A rural visit...a river bank...perfect company...good and heavenly thoughts...complex questions finding their answers somewhere...
A cool place...3 beers....light head...full consciousness...but still dizzy....

These moments have given be staunch and impinging realizations...realizations which i will never forget in my life...

I am having this utter need to be happy these days...having handling high frustrations around...and still keeping myself calm...knowing its not worth it...but sometimes i feel what do i get for my patience...no rewards...no returns...
I ask for nothing more...nothing less...just want the feeling of goodness to remain...
I want to be really really happy once...not more...not less...ONCE....this once when i can shout out loud and scream in glee...
Somewhere because i have never felt that extreme happiness ever....like when you might get what you longed soo far to have...

Aaarrgghh...it doesnt really matter...somewhere i know how things are with me...I have always tried to be good...and i know i will not change that about me for anyone and anything...i appreciate when people say how what you have done and said has helped them...but its the urge to be happy for myself that makes me want to run away from all this....
(No...i am not being selfish...that i have never been...but come on mann....BE FAIR!! )

:-)

Right now...i feel the light music playing in my head...want to go by the beach and see the stars...
...somewhere...life is good...but ill wait for the moment when ill be soo happy that ill feel BLESSED...!

Feeling...

Its been long since i have got down to write down...just too much MBA going on...more than MBA i think its the people managing skills that are being toned and its occupying a lota time of my precious life...

There has been so much happening everyday that its becoming difficult to keep a track of everything.
I am loving the change...but there is a lot to be improved and i hope i get over the little left and be the way i want myself to be...Its taking a lot for me...but i have somewhere made a promise to myself that ill do it...more importantly because the change is important for me maintaining some relationships...and i am glad that these relations matter to me so much that they will drive me to overcome the "blocks" in me...

I lot of things have to be jotted down...but i don't know how to...
Have you ever got that "song for the day"???
Its like...you hear a hundred songs in a day...but then...theres this ONE song...and you suddenly feel gooodd....i love that feeling...

This happens with people...you talk to a close hundred people everyday...and then theres this ONE who just makes your day...the funny part is...the song may not be same everyday...the the person is...and i love that feeling!

At times you feel lost...confused with yourself....trying to find out where you are and what you want to do...it bugs you couple of times in a day...that lonely feeling gets so strong sometimes that you wish you were not alone...and that if life was perfect...you would never feel lonely...something like being in love...

I strongly feel being in love is good...but i am done with looking for it everywhere...and now i am pretty sure i have come to a point that i might even avoid accepting it...for the fear of getting it wrong again...and affecting myself...the feeling which makes me feel life's unfair...and where did i go wrong...and i hate that feeling!

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

* Gilda Radner, 1946-1989

I am soo happy about a certain things...it makes you feel nice that the people around are happy...somewhere because you talked to them...and you were there when they needed you...and the problem is...its becoming a bit too much and too many people to handle...and by the end of the day...somewhere i feel drained out...and it bugs me that this leads to the sour feeling of loneliness..its momentary though...but still...i dont want it...and i hate that feeling!

I am hoping life has something really good to offer me sooon...coz somewhere i need it...
I want life to unfold positively...and with full of happiness now..i need a gift from life...for being fair and just...and as good a person as possible...and then ill loveeeee that feeling!

"Think of a car driving through the night.The headlights only go a hundered to two hundred feet forward,and you can make it all the way driving through the dark,because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet.And thats how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that....in the right way...and the next two hundred after that,your life will keep unfolding the way you want it...and eventually you will reach you destination. The catch here though is...its only you who can avoid the bumpers and potholes. The catch is "identifying" these potholes..."

:-)

Where do u go...

There is something good about this air...
I think right now life is going with the apt amount of goodness...and i wouldnt want to spoil it for anything...at any cost!

I have learnt that staying positive helps...It brings the right energy from within which helps you do the just...in every possible way...

I think the days that have gone in the past month are memories which have carved an impression for themselves in my brain...Thank you is a word underutilized for these...

I dont know what to expect from people these days...somehow i feel these days that anything i do might just distance people away from me...Sometimes may be i feel i dont need people around...its better to be alone than having to think about so many people and care for them...

Somewhere...you always feel that the emotions you invest be returned fairly if not completely...

well...thats life i guess! cant change it...then better change yourself!

The Talk...

Sometimes...all you need is to just let go of whats going around you...keep aside of what is to be done...what is expected...what is wrong...what is right...what you need to do...and just calm down...think of nothing...feel the moment...and enjoy the good side of life...

Sometimes you feel the need to be picked up from here and left somewhere distant...away from everything...not alone...with someone whom you can just talk...talk like it doesnt matter...talk as if it was all that was to do in life...
So much fun...its is fun...to feel the moment...
Feel like watching Before Sunrise and Before Sunset again...simply love those movies!

I think the best part of my life right now is that I have learnt to take things positively...I consciously dont let anything affect me....and if it does...i try to see think positive...Its because i realised...there is always something "more" to everything...and life will give you only if you ask more with a feel good approach...

I somehow think that whatever goes on in my life...is somehow reflected in the lectures in college...I can easily relate to soo many things taught and explained...Its like...someone is just observing my every move and analyzing it!

Your life is the enactment of your thoughts...so...whatever you think will ultimately be the movie of your life...

Think about it...if this is really true...What would you be wanting to think right now??
:-)
Negative thoughts arent worth it...

Have a hectic week ahead...somehow I am caught between a lot of things i really really want to do...
Lets see how things sort of...they will...im sure...

Im Perfect...

There is something about today that ill never forget...Ill never forget "everything" about this day...


Sometimes...the most imperfect things just seem to go perfect...
It wasnt one of the most well planned days in my life...but i loved every moment of it...and enjoyed every bit of it...
Like they say...the place doesnt matter...the company u have does...
:-)

I would like to believe that there will be better days...of more fun and happiness....not for me...but for the one who really deserves to be free...and ill be waiting for these better days...
The wait wont be long i know...

Existence is a strange bargain. Life owes us little; we owe it everything. The only true happiness comes from squandering ourselves for a purpose.

For every minute you are angry and irritated, you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

Ruby Tuesday

Long time...No update...
There is a lot to write...but i just dont know where to start!

Umm....Really really happy these days...Im glad that I let go of my ego for once...
And I am positively looking forward to days to come...

Have been humming this song since yesterday....Somehow it has gr8 importance in my life...

She would never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter if it's gone
While the sun is bright or
In the darkest night
No one knows
She comes and go
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?
When you change with ev'ry new day
Still I'm gonna miss you

Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained to a
Life where nothing's gained and nothing's lost at such a cost
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?
When you change...

"There's no time to lose"
I heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind
Ain't life unkind?
Goodbye Ruby Tuesday, who could hang a name on you?
When you change...

-Rolling Stones

I am glad i have changed the way i have...it has only made me more positive and willing...Feel a sense of freedom within...and has made me more confident abt myself...

The surroundings are getting more and more "feel good". Observing ppl...Some people just make perfect couples...and i love to see how they pervade a striking energy...
Amazing how two lost people perfectly find each other....
:-)

Positivity...and relationships...

New year here...2008...Result out...70.10%...Highest in a subject...A nice start i must say...

Things going pretty smoooth rite now...either that or i am not giving much thought to things around me...
Whichever maybe the case...this phase of life is good...

Had one of the most amazing lectures ever attended by me in life...by Prof. Ramakrishnan...The guy is seriously GOD sent!!
Amaaazziiiinnnggg... is the only word I can use for him...

I have never understood how relationships work...they are too complicated to analyze i know...
I see people...acquaintances change...people you would never expect to be together after sometime seem perfect for each other...Its good to see people in love...
I try to find the relation between my life and the people i meet...
Even the acquaintances i have come across in my life..They have something or the other to do with the way my life shapes up...
It maybe someone who has become a real close friend...or just another classmate...just someone i see everyday...a glance in college...


I would like to believe its all a setup and its all just somehow..."meant to be" this way...
And close friends will take a new role in future...and acquaintances will play a new role...It always happens...just observe people over a period of time...

So...What role are you playing ???

New year....COMING SOON!

Love this pic...it seems just perfect...and reminds me of some incidents of the past...

So finally saw Taare Zameen Par...
must say...its a good movie...but not at all great...not worth the rave its getting from people...especially after Aamir Khan commenting on Sanjay Leela Bhansali and calling BLACK to be "manipulative"...
TZP is just too slow and goes no where till three fourth of the movie is done...
Plus..you always have higher expectations when its an Aamir Khan movie...
Anyways...no sweat...

New year plans making and breaking...dunno at the end where we will land and party...but I am just glad all of my engineering grp is meeting...atleast those who are here...

Someone asked me the other day about my new years resolution...and i was thinking about the things i want to change about myself...right now...well...theres nothin as such...(LOL...not that i am perfect....but for now...just let me be ME!)


Was thinking of how my life has changed...and all i see is this "someone" drawing an abstract painting whose message im still trying to figure out...
Though i would like to believe that with everything happening in my life till now...there has to be MORE...
As Sanjai always says..."There is something BIG waiting to come..."


I am really looking forward to the next year...hope 2008 brings in what i have been really longing for...

After the final no there comes a yes

And on that yes the future world depends.

No was the night. Yes is this present sun.

- Wallace Stevens, "The Well Dressed Man with a Beard"

I hope you had the time of your life...

Green Day - Time Of Your Life

Another turning point;
a fork stuck in the road.

Time grabs you by the wrist;
directs you where to go.

So make the best of this test
and don't ask why.

It's not a question
but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind.

Hang it on a shelf
In good health and good time.

Tattoos of memories
and dead skin on trial.

For what it's worth,
it was worth all the while.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

(music break)

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable
but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

...Irresponsible...

"Every position you get in life comes with a responsibility....and you cannot make excuses to defend yourself unless you have a valid explanation..."