Waitin to be reborn...

Life has shown me the worse...
but i need to get out...get goin...cant find an ounce of motivation to do so...nor a blink of hope to take me ahead...

The frustration seems to just keep growing on me....its almost taking over my life!!
What the hell has happened to me????

I have no answers...only questions and scary thoughts running through my brain these days...

Yes...i need to start again...but from where do i begin..??

I am badly missing a friend who is no more...He was my senior in college...and his words of advice just keep repeating in my head...
"Don worry...it wont be dark for long...there has to be light at the other end..."
I imagine what guts the guy must have had when he used to console us with such ease...a person who knew his death was coming...all that time...And we were the ones who were unaware...frequently calling him up and begging for his sweet consolations...

Oh well...as they say...its all FATE...

And i have surrendered myself to where it takes me...
here again...Waiting to be reborn...

...Dead...

Until we meet again...in a new form...a new world...and hopefully a better phase of life...

...3 shockers...

I wonder how people can be so shallow....
I have come to knw of 3 BIG news from 3 different friends...all three whom i considered were close...i guess was wrong...

I feel betrayed...more than anything else...and it bloody hurts!!
How can i even call them friends???
They don even understand the essence of friendship...

Right now...i could trust strangers more than these so called friends!

Treachery at its best...

...a lesson in life has been learnt...

...about priorities...

I cant help but think how things have changed after i have completed my engineering.
I have no idea where life is taking...and thinking abt it and trying to sort things out only baffles me more.
I spoke to her today...and i instantly felt the "change".
Its not the same.
The distance could kill evrything and i have no control over it i guess...maybe cause thats how it is supposed to be.
But yes...its not the same.She maybe just a phone call away...but priorities have changed...maybe for both of us.
And honestly...i have no courage to discuss things...and thats because i myself am not sure about what i want!

I look at the people around me at my work place.And i have come to learn a lot of things about "living" life from them.I still cant digest the fact about how someone can run his family with Rs 6000 per month...and still be content abt it and enjoy his life...
I try to find out then....why am i not satisfied with my pay package...the best the industry gives for a fresher....abt 4 times more than most experienced contracters i am handling...and why cant i do something abt such nice ppl...help them mayb...
I have heard life is unfair...but what decides the level of unfairness???

Yes...i am learning a lot about life these days...just that...there isnt any inference to things...atleast not till now....

Life should be a song...


I cant believe what music does to you...
God should fit an ipod in evryones brain!
LOL

I havent been bloggin much these days i knw...
But i don hav much spare time these days...and nothin exceptionally "different" is happenin either...Also i am really really sorry for not visiting many of my favorite blogs for the past few weeks...

I get to meet all kinds of people on the job...and thats one thing i like about my job very very much!
Right frm the selfish money makers to the humble hard workers...

Life is unfair i agree...we just need to accept it...But sometimes i feel...Our payment system shud be exactly upside down...
The labourer's shud b payed maximum...Its a foolish thought i knw...
But accept it...the bigger post we get...the only thing that "increases" apart from our pay package is...our EGO!!

Think abt it...and respect ur juniors and servants next time they do something for you...
Coz its very easy to command...but its difficult to actually 'lead'....and commanding someone is not leadership...its lettin down the respect of your so called 'position' !

Got a nice 4 days off frm work coz of Diwali...
But somehow i like being at work than sittin at home...
My idle mind keeps pestering me all the time when i am at home...

All the insecurities keep comin back ...and they just arent ready to go!!!
Ironically...the biggest concern is abt my job...But atleast my work keeps me away frm thinkin abt it!!!

And nothin big happenin in these holidays either...
Damn...i think i hav bcome too much of a pessimist...or its just that God wants to live with COMPROMISE!!
Forget it...i cant wait to go back to work...

Anyways...Happy Diwali to everyone...
May God bless u all!!

My life has changed drastically this week...

i dunno wher evrything is goin...
be it...Love or Career...

But i hardly have any complaints right now...
All I knw rite now is...
Its WORK WORK and even more WORK....

And yeah...I will be workin over here....

:-)

Sunrise and Sunset...

I saw these two movies the other day,Before Sunrise (1995) and its sequel, Before Sunset(2004) ...
Both movies are critically acclaimed and were on my "to-be-seen" list for long...

And yes...Both movies are a MUST WATCH!
The story is simple...

Two strangers meet...and they talk...talk and talk!!!

...LOL...

What I liked abt the two movies is that while the first part deals with destined love...abt how two ppl met because it was just written somewhere for them to come accross each other and how they just click!
The sequel however...very convincingly contradicts the same....

I agree there is just too much "talk" in the movies and it might get a bit boring sometimes....actually...thats all that ther is to the the movies...endless conversation...

But the conversation between the two has a lot of depth...

Here are some of the quotes from both the movies which i just loved...
Do watch both movies if ya can get your hands on them...
:-)

"I believe if there's any kind of God it wouldn't be in any of us, not you or me but just this little space in between. If there's any kind of magic in this world it must be in the attempt of understanding someone sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed but who cares really? The answer must be in the attempt. "
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"Sometimes I dream about being a good father and a good husband. And sometimes it feels really close. But then other times it seems silly like it would ruin my whole life. And it's not just a fear of commitment or that I'm incapable of caring or loving because... I can. It's just that, if I'm totally honest with myself I think I'd rather die knowing that I was really good at something. That I had excelled in some way than that I'd just been in a nice, caring relationship."
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"I know happy couples... but I think they lie to each other! "

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"I don't know, I think that if I could just accept the fact that my life is supposed to be difficult. You know, that's what to be expected, then I might not get so pissed-off about it and I'll just be glad when something nice happens."
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"You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? Is when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they're thinking of you. You know, you'd like to think you're both in all this pain but they're just like 'Hey, I'm glad you're gone'."

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"Memory's are a wonderful thing if you don't have to deal with the past."

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Jesse: You want to know why I wrote that stupid book?
Celine: Why?
Jesse: So that you might come to a reading in Paris and I could walk up to you and ask, "Where the fuck were you?"
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Celine: You can never replace anyone because everyone is made up of such beautiful specific details.

I think i have learnt to control my feelings and behave...
At first...may be i used to expect a lot from people...and wanted things to happen...the way i wanted them to be...
Somehow i think this used to affect me a lot...emotionally...

And now i finally realised...You cannot ask ppl to behave the way you want them to...They will do it if they really are interested...And if they are not..then well...THEY ARE JUST BEING NICE...And then came the big thought...
Do i actually need someone to just be "nice" with me...??? huh...I don need ppl who just do things coz they wanna show how good they are...Or rather they do things just because i want and expect them to in a certain way...

Its just disappointing...very very disappointing...
But then...i think i have grown out of it now...

I think its high time for people who really want to do things for me be given a chance...
At least they are honest about what they are doing...

My freind told me once..."If something you do doesnt reciprocate...Its a waste of time..."
I dont think the problem with me is about people not reciprocating...They can be and are very good friends...But maybe i just dont need friendship anymore...

Rather somehow....I cant see myself on the same "level" as your other 'friends'...
It has to be something special...the sole reason bcoz it is frm my side...

Maybe i am expecting too much...but i just cant take it anymore...
So now...I am behaving 'NORMAL'...