Thursday, January 21, 2010

'Reach' and 'Settle'

So finally hit the gym today...cudnt see myself getting out of shape...
I think if you cant find time for your own health and body and if work eats up your time so much that it starts affecting your being...well...what exactly are you living for then?

After an hour of work out with my office mate...we settled ourselves at the juice bar...
As we waited for the health drinks to reach us...I looked around looking at the setup....checking out the place...while Shafi seemed to be lost and confused...as if something was troubling him...

I saw his eyes...they seemed a bit moist...mostly tired....and I asked him what was it that suddenly got him into that mood (I thought we did "work out" well...for the first day i mean...nothing seemed that sad to be soo depressed about...!)

"Nothing man...Just remembered old days...gyming back home...friends...that life...that phase...seems lost...", He said.
And he did not really wait for me to react...
"Where did those days go...that free life...when all that mattered...was where are we hanging out tomorrow...and when and which lectures to bunk...and where am I meeting her in the evening..."

This was coming from a guy who had spent 3 days in coma...after a serious accident...and...after loss of health and body mass...had come back to the gym to gain weight and be back in shape...

I went blank..I thought it was better I did not say anything...The man had a point after all...

I paused. The juices were served.

I guess I thought that a joke was the call for the moment...to light things up...I mean...the main reason we had joined the gym after work...was to relax our mind more than our muscles...

So...in a very filmy tone....I put my palm on his shoulder and said, " Shafi...dost...Yeh lamhaa yaad rakhnaa...5 years down the line....you will think about this too and have moist eyes..."
He smiled.

"You can only remember the past...you live in the present...and your present will be a memory for the future...moments like these"

We drank. (Funny tho...it was no alcohol...just 2 glasses of "health" high protein drinks! )

As the music charged...I thought it was better we talked about something else...

ME: " You know...I have read somewhere...In any relationship...there is always a Reacher and a Settler...like...there are never "equal" matches...thats why you always see a hot girl with a geeky guy...or a smart guy with a plump girl....If you take that case...Who do you think is the reacher and the settler in your relationship with Farzana?"

Like a obedient boy friend he said, " I am the reacher of course...I could have never got someone better...she could have any day got anyone better! She has made me the person I am today.."

And then a thought ran through my mind...a girl/guy can really change your life for good...it is just a matter of whether you want to be the 'settler' or the 'reacher'

"What about you...what catergory are you...the reacher or the settler?"

I looked at him with a raised glass of protein shake (as if it was a symbol of muscle power or something....)
"I guess the problem with me is that I want to be the 'reacher'...be with a better girl who can change the lost and confused soul that I am...but i guess the girl I like just doesnt want to 'settle' with me...ahh...if only i was a bit more geeky...i bet i could have got her!!"

We laughed. We drank. We left.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Wher to?


What if all of us just did not have a specific "purpose" in life...imagine...we did not have that tweeching urge to always find out "what am I here for"
And at the age of 25...when everybody else is "settling" down,getting married,buying houses,etc...it is a very bad thought to have...

Honestly...I envy people who have a plan in life...or those who get their set path...who can be content with what they got and work on making it better...

I dont like the restless me...always wanting to find out where it is headed...or where and when will it stop...
I dont say I am alone...I know many a people who are similar...who share the same road with me...

Take this girl I am talking to as I write this post...The girl, who teaches a class of students more or less of the same age (even elder at times) to her...
I know she is soo good that she does it with ease...but I also know what she is better at...how good she can be else where...
(One of the many things I like about her though is that...she never does what she doesnt like...and she had the guts earlier to give up a job she did not like...I know what it takes to give up something in hand..when there are times you just cant take it...the mismatch is more frustrating than the money offered...or what would people say...)
Lot to learn from her...and lot to teach as well..

The problem with India is that you dont find your job...the job finds you...and that I think is the main reason why so many people are soo unhappy with what they do...

I mean...how many people who join companies actually know what they are going to do...the work profiles described are always vague and honestly...misleading and useless...

I wish there wasnt this constant pressure about where am I headed...
I wish somone loved me for what I am...and not for the job/position i hold...respected me for the person that I am...and not out of the designation i hold...scolded me for the mistakes I make...and not out of ego clashes...and praised me out of concern and not "because someone asked them to"

Wierd...but thats how we humans function...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

a song...a walk...and a day off

Had taken the day off from work today...
I dont think i can ever be the "workaholic" kinds they talk about every now and then...of people who work 14-16 hrs a day...24/7 are in the work mood...and eat sleep and drink business...

Somehow...people say and believe that being that way is the way to the top...may be it is...may be it is not...
For me...Work is...well...W O R K....a four letter word...and it cannot replace L I F E (another four letter word! ) whatever may be the stake offered...

I value my peace...my sanity...and ill break whenever that line is about to be crossed...

Heard some good news today...about a colleague...and it made me feel happy...its good to know that nice people get their share of success once in a while at least...

Went for a walk today...alone...
...with head phones playing Ronan's "Its so easy lovin' you"


Standing here in front of you
You never looked so beautiful
With every breath you steal my words away
It's like seeing you the first time
Yeah that's the way I feel tonight
In you I've found a place I wanna stay
Wish I could freeze you in this moment like a photograph
You're the life I always wanted but never dreamed I could have

Felt the need to dance...sing....

Well...When you are 25 years old....you look around...and you give up that urge to dance and sing aimlessly on the raods....
(Ahhhh....growing up sucks!)

Called up a friend when i reached home...

Me: "Should i tell her??"
Friend: "aahhh....that question...the story of your life!"

I laughed.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

..the picture..

I do not know why...but today a picture made me go back in time...and somewhere i did go blank into memories...
Its weird how this happens to you isnt it...you are sitting somewhere alone maybe...and something reminds you of someone...and that something could be anything....a book...a picture...a showpiece...anything...
And that someone...not necessarily may be someone important from your present life...just an acquaintance may be...
But that person takes you to that time you knew him/her...the time that revolved around him/her...and you start seeing a lot of things that happened then...and in your mind...you are simply LOST...

A strange thing happened today...was going through some random photos on facebook... and came across one...
That one photo made me realize something...a truth i had thought i could ignore all this while...
Something I cant accept at this point of time...maybe some other day...some other time...

I wonder when I look back at things that have "hit" me every now and then...i wonder if they would really matter in the long run...

The question still remains..."How do you really know if its 'real'?"

As they say...If you cant deal with the truth...if you cant deal with love...and if you cant deal with a Lie...let it become a matter of the past...

One picture...a lot of words unsaid...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

truth and the love story

The new year has started..and it has been some great and sleepless 3 days...

Somehow...after 25 years of life...you kinda know whom you can count on to have a blast with...and I am sure every one of us has such people around them.

I was wondering the other day at work about how sometimes...you just lie on the face of people...call it a flatter/sympathy/'just being nice" gesture...
Sometimes you just say Yes to everything what a person is saying just so that he/she doesnt feel bad or you just want to avoid an awkward argument...

I wonder if we could just say the plain truth to people...it would reduce a lot of misunderstanding...and life would be much simpler...when everyone has to just "live with the truth".


Of course...life will then become less exciting...less dramatic...and quite boring at that...

The most affected would be the Service Industry of course...Flatter and Lies is the key to business for them...

Anyway...just a thought...
"When you want to fool someone...just tell them the truth"
Believe me...it works...

Coming back to the service industry...a customer once told me that it is a "thankless" job...and that you have to do everything...without expecting or considering what is the limit to which things you have to do...

Honestly...I always thought...knowing the person that I am...(or atleast one side of me is)...that being 'selfless' is just one of my qualities...and that I do it quite naturally..
I like helping people out...going to every extent possible...and that I would never tire out of it...

After working at a Bank...let me tell you one truth...
My selflessness is not infinite afterall ...I DID TIRE OUT OF IT.

I wonder if anyone cares these days anyways...people are too selfish to think about anything other than themselves.
Plus...if YOU want to be happy...somewhere...you have to make SOMEONE ELSE sad.

Its like the "every-films'-love-story"...which a 10 year old kid told me yesterday...
Guy likes a girl...guy is a good guy...girl is a good girl...but the the girl is "just not that into" the guy...eventually...if the girl wants to be happy...she finds another guy who makes her happy...leaving the first guy sad.

Its funny how "profound" kids talk these days..
:-D
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