Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Mental madness - Part 2

Like i said before...when i reach the bus stop...its a completely new world...

The thoughts change...
I look at the road...my eyes looking the distance for the Bus to come and my ears listening to the music playing on the headset...
I stand there...generally thinking about the people i care...

What they must be doing...what is going on with them...which is then followed by replies through messages to people who had called...
I generally dont talk to anyone once Im out of work...just dont feel like it...

Honestly...that is just what i say to myself "I dont like to talk to anyone..."
Somewhere...i do miss coming out of work...and not having someone whom i would like to call...
(ohh yes...there is definitely someone i do wanna call everyday...but no one has given me that right to...its not a good thing to throw yourself on people now is it...)

I feel good about people who have their better halfs...you can see love in parts..here and there...and my mind ignores not having that "secured" feeling by divulging into others problems i guess...

"You know...the problem with you is...that you care too much about other people...treating their problem as your own..."

All I replied to that rather irrelevant statement made by a friend was...
"Really?? I never noticed that...but thats me i guess...i dunno if its a good thing or bad...but then...i love being me!"

What is strange is that you know so many people in your life....but isnt it a bit wierd that you constantly think about only a few of them...
I sometimes dont find it fair...because...there are a lot many people who actually care about you...but you are drawn to the thoughts of only a few...

"Strange is the mind...wild...and wilder are the thoughts that drive the mind..."

My MBA final result is out btw...and it feels good to know that now you are finally an MBA! (I really dont know how much that degree is worth right now...but its a goal achieved...)

I feel the wind in the bus...and i hear the sounds saying...there is a long way to go...

Friday, July 24, 2009

Mental madness - Part 1

...how so many things happen in just one day...24 hrs of your life..each moment has a different emotion...each has a different tone...

I work at a BANK...
I see rich people...people for whom investing is a passion...a game they play everyday...a means to grow...and have fun with...
And then i meet the poor people...for whom money is means to an end...just to survive...to pass one more day without starving...

I look at eyes...each has a story to tell...riches...rags...its all there...

I go through a lot of mental madness (if i can call it that...) through out the day at the bank...It is tough (and irritating at times) to fool the rich....to make them shell out their pockets and ironically...at the same time keep the trust of the poor...

Sometimes i meet people who just wanna talk...it seems as if they want a shoulder...and you put on a smile...try not to get too involved...and move away...
...at times...the rich try to get "too involved"....

I do wander at times...about what is happening...where are things really going...and each moment about how i feel....sometimes lost...sometimes frustrated...and sometimes excited...

What is strange is that...I dont see the outside world once i enter my branch doors...for another 12 hrs...(thats half a day!)...the time passes with lives of people from different worlds...

When i get out...i wait at the bus stop...and my eyes keep looking for something...my phone keeps waiting...
(But thats a different world...and i talk about it in the next post...)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

...life still in mumbai and being 17 again...

Long time no blog...
Actually...since work has started...have been too busy to sit down and write...and with saturdays working...there has been little time that i have got for myself...

One good thing that has happened is that I have been in Mumbai all along..and have still not been sent to my place of posting...and i would like it to remain that way...nothing can replace the life in Mumbai...so just hoping that whatever little luck i have...remains...and the evil stays away...

Have got some...and have lost some...just hoping...ill get that "100%" atleast once in my life...bored of being stuck at 99...

Was watching 17 Again today...and gave a thought on how almost everyone of us lives in his/her past...
Its always about what had happened...and how good or bad it was...and how and what you could have done to change it...
How much ever we say to ourselves that "Stay in the moment"....it almost never happens now,does it?

What is a relief is the fact that....when you do think of the past...and you think about how things have changed today...You might not like the present...you might crib...but then...put a little more thought to it..and think about it closely...
I am pretty sure you will realise that TODAY is better...fuller...and content...

That lost job...that love which never happened...that freind who fought...that money lost...that exam you failed to crack...
It was bad..i agree...but then there is something which has replaced it...and its for the better...

I think the problem with life is that it is really easy to attract negative thoughts about a situation you are in...wish there could be something which we could do about that...

I shut down my laptop in the afternoon (that happens rarely in my life!) and took up a magazine lying around on my desk for a long time...
One of the articles was talking about how teenage romances never last...and how most adolescent life is affected by break ups and "love problems"...

That just put a smile on my face...and my mind said to me...

"We are soo over all these things rite...not a teen anymore...why does all this seem childish to us now? What has really happened to us?"
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