Monday, June 29, 2009

Figuring out


It is now slowly sinking in...suddenly i find myself lone and missing a lot of people...
Work hasnt even started yet...and i am yet to go away from home permanently...and i already feel as if my heart is being pulled out...its a pain hard to describe...

I guess...its mainly because i am so used to staying in "this" life...that the change that is up ahead...is something that I dont want to accept...nor do i want to get myself outa the comfort zone i have been in all these years...

Yes...i am excited too...but i think...losing out on a perfectly good life...people around you...nearby...is something i am not prepared for..

A friend who has been away from home told me this the other day...
"You will really start valuing your present life once you go away from home..."

Now i know what he meant by that....cause that "value" bug is hitting me slowly...

One other thing that is bothering me... is that I am now beginning to see LOVE going away from my reach...
(was it ever in my reach...i do not know...)

I am a bit dazed...in love (i think!)...and still figuring out my emotions...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

...Changing attachments...satisfaction...and a bit...

I was wondering today about how Life changes so fast...about how things just happen when they happen...and DONT happen when they are not meant to happen...
You deal with it...you enjoy it...do whatever you wanna do with it...and it just moves ahead...

Its like...Slow down LIFE...i need time to sit and think for once!!

Even when you think your life is going slow...and there is nothing to do...just sit and think for a while...and you will find that there is actually so little time for all the things you really want to do...You might not get up and right away do it (laziness at its peak!) but you still have a lota things at hand...

My life is about to change drastically...soon...and i am here sitting and thinking...when did this all happen???
It was just a while ago that i left a perfectly good job at Godrej to join MBA...and its already over...and here i am...back again...doing something else...doing something different...

Was thinking about the people i met over the past two years...how some got attached to me...and how I got attached to some (Believe me...these are two different things!)

There are some people i met in MBA...for whom...i feel...that how much ever i do...is LESS...
They deserve so much more...and better smiles and happiness...and i could go to any extent to give them that one brisk of happiness...

It is said that you will never get as much satisfaction from your own successes as you will...from the ones you get when people you love achieve something...
True...very true...and i talk by experiencing this very satisfaction...

But its funny...sometime ago...we used to meet everyday..spend like 15-16 hours of the day together (not always tho!)...and now...i dont think ill see half of them frequently...some of them never again in my life!

I have always wondered...why do you meet people with whom you are eventually loose contact with anyway...because not many of the people you care wanna be in touch with you...
(Ask me...I myself dont know if wanna be in touch with a lot of the people who care for me!)

Attachment is a weird thing...it can make or break your day...
Simone Weil said this once..."Attachment is the great fabricator of illusions; reality can be attained only by someone who is detached."


I know what I can do to you...how wonderful I can make your life...and give you what you truly deserve...
but all this comes with an "IF"....
"IF" YOU GIVE ME A CHANCE...
Else..all that i do...is simply something funny...something unnecessary...something stupid...

...Its upto you...Please open up a bit...live a bit...with me...if not anything...Ill surely make you smile a bit...

(The above words...I say to myself too...for the people who are attached to me and i behave as if i dont care...its funny...how everything in life works both ways!)

Thursday, June 18, 2009

B'day contrasts... AND WE 'TWIST' !

  • 12.10 am 18th June 2009
Ahhh...the birthday is here...time to get more OLD...
Its funny you know how birthdays become something "you are excited about and look forward to" to something that "reminds you that your are getting OLD!"

Surprisingly...it doesnt feel like its my birthday today...i mean...i don really feel that excited about it as i should be...
...maybe because i have been having so much fun lately that it is just passing by....or may be..its just something else..i do not know...

I know one thing for sure though...that i am having the TIME OF MY LIFE....and that i am happy...

  • 11.35 pm 19th June 2009

Its beyond question...this was one of my best b'days ever!!!
I am having so much fun right now...that i dont know where and with what to start penning it down...

Got my posting for work...a place called DAHANU ,about 3 hrs drive from Mumbai (where i presently stay)
Now the exciting thing about Dahanu is that its kinda a "weekend getaway" place for the people of Mumbai and so come to think of it...working at a tourist spot seems like holidays 24/7 to me...lolzz...
Hoping it will turn out to be good...first time will be away from home...

The funny thing about Dahanu is that the entire city/town/village (i don really knw wat to call it!) has just TWO Cyber Cafes!!! (Yes...u read it right!)
When i read that on wikipedia, a part of me "suffocated"...coz i am a person who virtually "breathes" the internet...
Will have to look for broadband data cords....

And since I will be leaving home in about a week..i am on an AWESOME shopping spreee....buying things as if im going away to another country all together...and I'M CRUISING IT! ("Im lovin it" sounds old and Mc Donaldy now..."cruising it" is the new "IN" word!)

Having been meeting up with some great freinds here and there...and what excites me is that these days im always "on the move"!

Plus have got some amazing b'day gifts...you know...its not always what someone gave...its who gave and with how much heart...

One of the other highlight of this week was this random conversation i had with a girl in the Bus the other day...
We were speaking for about 30 minutes...and the best part of it was that by the end of it.. I did not care to take her number (that would have made the whole thing "cheesy" i think) and we just wished each other the best for the future and parted ways...letting the moment remain genuine enough forever...

I read somewhere that every person has a moment in his/her life...that feels like a dream...something that maybe you will never experience again...it might come in some other form...sometime later....but the experience wont be the same...and soo...im savouring the experience of this dream...(TOUCHWOOD raised to 100 for that!)

"And it doesnt stop there...

...I wont make it stop there..."

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the wait for the dream and a wish

So the wait is finally over...will be joining work soon...
I am actually very excited about the job...and the new experience...Its not my first job...but somewhere i feel that good things await at this place...

Have been trying to enjoy the last few "lukhha" days left...living out just about anywhere and everywhere that i get a chance...

What gets me about life is that you never tread the path you planned out for...You always live a life which is different from what you wanted or expected...It may be better or worse (I however like to believe that it always gets better eventually even if it is at its worst right now)

I am spending some of the best days of my life with friends...some things and events i will remember for a very long time.


Something i did not plan on doing has happened...something i wanted , i dont have...but whatever something i have right now is of value..in some small way or the other...and its all good..and i am happy...

I make a wish for a few people before i go to sleep sometimes...Some people i care about...I might never tell them that...
Its a good way to bring in positivity in the life of your friends i feel...
Today...before i sleep...i wish something for myself...and with all my heart...i hope it turns true...

To all your dreams that might never come true and would definitely turn out to become something better...ALL THE BEST!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

All that she said...

Its strange...but I had completely forgotten how beautiful it is to really care for someone..with all your heart...
It really feels amazing i tell you...it hurts too at times...but its one of those "No pain No gain" kinda things i guess...

Somewhere far far away...
a guy cried today for a girl...a guy, who never thought girls even existed before he met her...and things just changed for him after that...
Sadly this guy is a friend of mine...its sad because there is nothing much I can do to help him...Its the pain each one has to carry when you care for someone...


Tune joh naa kaha,mein woh sunnta raha
Duur jaata raha , pass aata raha...
Khamakhaan bewajah, Khwaab bunntaa raha
...
Tune joh naa kaha,mein woh sunnta raha


Somewhere nearby...
I heard a girl speak to me...more like... shout at me ...for the foolishness and childish pranks i have been playing lately...She made me realize a very important thing today...
"You are not 18 anymore!!"

The way she said it...hit me big time...Yes...its high time i come out of my dreamy world...get real...and get out of the hopelessly romantic illusions i have about this thing called LOVE....

I guess it is just hard for us guys to accept that you cannot make a girl care for you like you care for her...
Was telling this to someone the other day...
"You do things for her...and she will only reciprocate if she really feels like it...else its just another thing that happened just another day..."

But then i asked her...in between her shouts..."What do you do when you genuinely care for a person...?"
"Just shut up and keep your feelings aside! Thats the only way out...else you will just be used..Is that what you want?" came the shrewd reply from her.

All that she said made soo much sense...and it was all true...

I wonder what i would have done without a certain few people who are around me...They love you so much that they wont mind shouting at you...hurting you...and telling you the reality...just to help you out!
Thank you for being there always...

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Namastey London all the way...

Dont go by the strange title of this post...it actual plays a very important role in our lives these days...really a very important role...

You know how they say...there is always a LOVE STORY happening somewhere...its like...you will never be out of ideas for making a bollywood movie mann...! lol

Ok...back to the movie Namastey London...

I have a friend...and hes in love....and like any love story...there IS a problem...
The girl in question is 3 years elder to him...and even if that can be dealt with...He is not sure if the girl is at all interested...

I sometimes feel its not fair that girls have all the power when it comes to Love...or at least i have not met a situation which works the other way round...
A girl can really decide whether to make or break a guys life mann...now thats really HUGEEE if you ask me...
And knowing that they have this amazing POWER...they really like to play with it...dont they? (Damnn the girls!!)

I mean...I know of guys who have been approached by girls....I myself have been approached by girls...but guys keep it simple...a "NO" is really a "NO"...and thats the end of it...
They dont keep you guessing like girls do...I think...half of a guys time goes in contemplating "What the hell does she mean by that?"
And only experience can teach a guy what to conclude from a "NO" or "May be" or a "I dunno" that a girl gives him...(and these are the words you will hear...not "frequently"...but like...ALL THE TIME!!)

So yes...We are decifering yet another girl and her "reactions"and trying to understand whether she is really interested in the guy or not...coz...you know...its a life changing decision for him...
At 24...getting into a relationship with a girl who is 27...means...dreaming of a wedding and of kids going to school !! (Im sure you know what i mean by that...you are in it...and then there is no way out!)

Ohh yaa...Back to the movie Namastey London...

We were discussing this one day...and we found that this movie is so tactfully made for all the people (read foolish idiots!) who have LOST in the game of love...

There is even a dialogue in the movie which Akshay Kumar says "haan...woh line...joh pyaar mein haar jaate hain , unka dil rakhne ke liye likhhi gayii he..."
LOL

And now...when ever we discuss anything related to LOVE or just plain wanna have fun with the topic of LOVE...we keep reciting the movie dialogues...in our own "heart broken" way...
Some of our favourites are...


"Ishq dii meri mitra pehchaan gii,mit jaayen jadon zidd appnaan dii..."

"Jahaan pyaar hotaa he , wahan naraazgii nahin....Ummeed hoti he..."

"Jab hum dono bhoodhe ho jaayenge...aur mein London aaungaa...yahan aake mein tumhe phone karunga...toh tum mujhse milne jaroor aana...kyunki mere liye tabhhii yeh jaannaa zaroori hoga...ke tum khush toh honaa..."



LOLzz
:-D

*******************************************************

I have had a pretty good weekend...and i would like to keep the "good" feeling all the way...
Right from the funny thing where Dad gifted my Mom a Laptop for their 30th Wedding Anniversarry (I think its cute in a way...but it sure was a strange gift!) ...to the fun i had with my friends...and to the people i made happy (i think!) for their special day ...Its all been good...
TOUCH WOOD!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Ruthless chain

When Donald Trump was asked recently whether he would sacrifice his integrity and character and stab someone in the back or walk over someones trust to get his business done...he answered it with a smile and simply said, "No Comments"

He then went on saying that even though he might never admit it...he has done pure business at times...not bothering about anything else...simply because that is how you get ahead in this world..

I guess that is how it is in Business...you have got to be ruthless all the way...and push people out of the way...
Something that i think i have to realise and act upon in days to come...it always was NOTHING PERSONAL...JUST BUSINESS...!
I dont really agree to this...i mean...you do get personal in relationships and whether you like it or not...every time remaining aloof isnt possible (It amazes me however how some people i know do it with complete ease...thinking of nothing but themselves all the time!)

Have been wondering about how you can just be arrogant and self centered and still get away with it...and i have come to a conclusion that it just doesnt matter...you might loose out on some good people...people who care for you..but then...it wont really affect you in the long run anyway...

Was talking to a school friend about some people i knew back then...
I have known and been friends with people i really cared about...but they never bothered to keep in touch...i tried my best....but eventually...it doesnt matter to them...nor to me...

Strange it is...how someone who hurts and doesnt value friendship while it is still there...might never know how good it could ever have been for him/her...


But thats the way it is....someone does it to you...and you knowingly/ unknowingly do it to someone else...its like a chain...

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Missing someone..and I know not who...


CAN MILES TRULY SEPARATE US FROM FRIENDS? IF WE WANT TO BE WITH SOMEONE WE LOVE, AREN'T WE ALREADY THERE?
- Richard Bach

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