Friday, May 30, 2008

...Pluck the strings...

My Friend: "Was that the most stupid thing i did??"
Me: "No...There is always room for more...and thats the best part of any friendship!"

We smiled.We said Goodbye.We were normal again.
:-)



Having a real tough time at work.I am trying my best at work and somehow...it just doesnt seem to be enough...I am not able to meet the expectations...atleast that is what i am being told.
I know i dont care that much really...because i know i dont want to stick around with the firm after my summer training...and so i am taking things very positively...
I know it frustrates me sometimes...and i cant really help myself get irritated...but i think i have improved a lot...and i have learnt patience...and that is exactly what this summer job was all about...

I wanted to face the aggression i faced before and see how it affects me now...And i am so glad it doesnt...I dont react the way i did...I am more patient and understanding with things...and i am glad about that...

There are more things that require more than just patience...and i am working on it...I think i have to learn to put the things i think i am right about in a different way...and at the right time...

Anyways...Off with the boring things...

I have met a lot of interesting people at my workplace...and some of them...i will definitely remember for a long time...
Some for their sweetness and caring...and some for their aggression....two contrasts...but as they say...
You always remember the extremes
:-)

and yes...its time to pluck the strings finally!!!
Guitar Classes start from Sunday...so really looking forward to it...
It will be a pleasant change from all the things happening around these days...

As Soumya said today...When i told her abt the aggression at Reliance and how it tends to rub on you...
"I think you better get a Yoga class to relax yourself after summers..."
Felt like telling her...
"Dont need Yoga...I have got the guitar...!!!"
LOLzzzz

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

... "Someday" ...

[Chorus]
Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

[Verse 1]
They tellin' me it's all good just wait
You know you're gonna be there someday
Sippin' on Jim Beam ok
Gotta get these things one day
Till then do another line you know
Searching for that other high
Stop or I gotta steal then steal
Kill or I'm gonna be killed
I got a sack in my pocket
Conscious yellin' drop it
You know we're gonna lose it someday
And we tryin' to hold it all together but the devil is too clever so
I'm gonna die you gonna die we gonna die Someday one day I said

[Chorus]
Someday we gonna rise up on the wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

[Verse 2]
Try to lie but it ain't me Ain't me
Try to look but I can't see
Can't stop right now cause I'm too far and I can't keep goin' cause it's too hard
In the day in the night it's the same thing
On the field on the block it's the same game
On the real if you stop then it's no pain but if you can't feel pain then it's no gain
Rearrange and you change and it's all bad and you try to maintain but you fall back
And you crawl and you slip and you slide down
Wanna make it to the top better start now
So I hold my soul and I die hard
All alone in the night in the graveyard
Someday one day I'm gonna be free and they won't try to kill me for being me
Hey someday

[Chorus]
Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

If you know how this is
Gonna see it's not that easy
Don't stop get it till it's done
From where you are or have begun
I said keep on try a little harder to see everything you need to be
Believe in your dreams
That you see when you're asleep

[Chorus]
Someday we gonna rise up on that wind you know
Someday we gonna dance with those lions
Someday we gonna break free from these chains and keep on flyin'

Thursday, May 22, 2008

...darn the girls...


After years and years of thinking over it I think i have finally come to a conclusion about girls...They seriously dont know what it is that they exactly want...they will choose one thing ...then ponder over something else...then come back to the first thing when you say the second one is better...and they need your opinion for this decision they already took...

If they know what they want...they dont know how to go about getting it...and they will make simple things sound really complicated by thinking over and explaining points that really dont matter at all...but for them...all these points HAVE to be cleared off...and they need you for it...
You really dont know what you can do about it...more importantly....you NEVER understand how some such stupid things matter...

To them....whatever you do is not always right and they will have a good and well prepared explanation for all the wrong you do...and no matter how much you explain...they will NEVER listen...
And when you try to explain what they do is wrong...(well....you can never do this...!! it seems..THEY ARE NEVER WRONG !! wtf!)

And the last but not the least....if you arent careful...they train you to behave the way they want you to behave...I cant tell you how many boyfriends i have seen for whom being a pet to their gfs is LOVVVEEE....and they don even know that they are in the girls control !

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

...Breathless...

I have been thinking a lot for the past 2- 3 days...about how certain things affect me....about how i need to start living for my own...and now start learning to let go...

I wont let people take me for granted from now on...NO ONE for that matter...

Maybe....it will always the case...You will care for a certain people more than they do...
That doesnt really change anything...but now i think i need to learn to let it go...let it not affect me...and deal with the feeling of being alone at times when you need people most...

Was sitting in office today....with no work and no one around...Started listening to music...browsing around aimlessly...and it started feeling nice...Being alone wasnt that bad...and i was loving it...felt like dancing....

And if there's no tomorrow
And all we have is here and now
I'm happy just to have you and
You're all the love I need somehow

It's like a dream
Although I'm not asleep
And I never want to wake up

Don't lose it
Don't leave it
So go on, go on, come on leave me breathless

Someone told me once that I can make peoples lives turn around...make them what they always wanted to be...I have the ability to do everything good...
Those words sound fake to me now...coz somewhere...i still have to learn to take care of MYSELF!

But ill learn....i always have....without regrets...

Monday, May 19, 2008

...Guy talk...

1st guy: im done livin the same old fuckin routine life mann
evryone around...parents....friends...its frustrating...
2nd guy: so what do u want from them
1st guy: i want things my way for once
be at peace and b happy....satisfied
2nd guy: just an observation ..nothin hidden ........but dont u think u have been pretty needy ?
1st guy: with wat ??
2nd guy: with life in a simple sense....
as in...try to figure a way out...try to work on it
1st guy: i dunno mann...but i never got a certain things i always wanted...and im done waiting for it to happen
2nd guy: maybe give somethin up if its way out of ur reach
1st guy: hmmm
y is it always a stage that we hav to giv somethin up...
2nd guy: thats wat they call life i think...
living it helps you realize ur limits..
but u are free to try
1st guy: i am afraid that it will just make me undermine myself...
2nd guy: well ....which is why we try and pursue things....
doesnt really stop u from trying..
somehow i have started accepting the fact.....u do wat u can do
u dont wat u cant
1st guy: hmmm
it hurts badly tho...
2nd guy: why is that
1st guy: just....its like...u always hav to adjust...u r the one expected to understand...and accept....that this is how things are...and in between all this....u try to b positive...but its hard to control it for long...
2nd guy: totally agree to that...
its a self revelation kind of thing ..........something the ppl (because of whom u have to adjust) wud never understand
in fact they wud never have a chance to realise and feel it......coz they wud never learn to adjust
1st guy: its not that u want them to adjust....
its just that....sometimes...
u urself feel the need to be "yourself"
and let u hav it ur way...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I am glad today...had a fun ride and enjoyed the day...
Our new car is here...and it looks gorgeous!!

But I am also a bit "shaken" (dint get any other word that would fit here...)
Somehow I did not like the fact that my project manager had to choose between me and him about a work done together...and He said what was the "right thing to say" then...

Sometimes...You might get the best of things...things you always wanted desperately...things that you thought would give you happiness...
But sometimes....its not all that "fulfilling" without the presence of a certain people...or rather when you wished it could be a bit different somehow...
Well...thats that to it i guess...

Have had some fun moments these days...
Today for instance...i almost dozed off on the backseat of the bike...and thanks to my grip to my friends bagpack...i held on and got up instantly...else...well...let me just say...I would be here writing this!
:-)

Have a lot of work in the days to come...was just sitting and chatting with some friends today...found these talks funny,stupid...but somewhat interesting....

Ruta: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
acha sun yaha pe bohot machchar (mosquitoes) kaat rahe hain...m gng off to sleep....gnsd....
take care

~_Prasad_~: lolzz

ok ok

cyaa

gnite

tc

After a good 5 minutes....I see her still online....

~_Prasad_~: jaa naa....still here???

Ruta: jaa rahi hun naatera hii blog padh rahi hun !!! thats taking time..

~_Prasad_~: oyeee...then stay stay

read read...take your time...

Ruta: lolzz

~_Prasad_~: take ur time

good night jala doon?? (now this is marketing ! )

Ruta: nah nah...ho gaya padh ke now gng

~_Prasad_~: lol...okkk

=============================================

K: live in the moment or think about the future?

wats ur answer to this?

~_Prasad_~: ummm...

live with wats practical...and think about how the future will benefit you...
:)

K: i dnt like u
;)
cuz thts exactly wat i am NOT doin

~_Prasad_~: lolzz

i always say the right things
;)

K: not necessary...

say its ur perspective

~_Prasad_~: :)

good one

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

...Wishlist 2038...

I dont know why....but i have always hated the month of MAY...
No specific reason as such...but i have always wanted the month to just pass as soon as possible....somehow i dont find good things happening to me in the month of May every year and its more of a desperate wait for JUNE to come...
June has always had a lot of hustle and fun with birthdays,anniversaries,school reopenings,friend visits....and of course the rains!

Was down with fever and cold today and so skipped work...
Dunno why...the summer job is seeming more like a formality to me than anything else and im not specifically gaining enough interest in what i am doing...
I am learning a lot...no doubts abt that...but there is something missing...maybe that right amount of motivation is lacking...

Was thinking about the things i need to do...about the urge to start earning again...about how things in college are goin to change now...and how i will have to face it...and in this process of foolish thoughts...i went to sleep...!!!
Havent slept this much in a day in my entire life i tell you !!!


I am thinking of making a wishlist for my birthday this year...and i am planning to include in it the things i might possibly never get in this life time...
I was thinking that since BLOGGER has started this option of writing something down and posting it at any specific day/time in the future...i will make this wishlist...and keep it for posting on say... 18th June 2038...By then ill be close to 53 years...and hopefully would have "lived" my life...atleast tried what i wanted from it...

My friend asked me the other day...
"If say...every year...God gave you one option of changing things the way they are and having it your way...what would you ask for this year??"

I gave him a blank stare...for i did have an answer to that question...
but i dont think its worth wishing for things that did not happen...Life doesnt work that way...
But it will definitely go in my wishlist!
:-)

Thursday, May 08, 2008

...The bond that remains always...

I cant believe the rate at which people are getting married these days...its like a "thing" you have to do at this age!! (Well....its not an obligation as such....for some it happens naturally...and thats the best thing to happen to you if you fall in this category!)
Good for them i say...But still i cant get over the fact that its a bit "sudden" for me...maybe i should get used to it now...hearing about people around me tying the knot...to live happily ever after...
:-)

I cant understand how it all happens...I mean the primary reason you marry is because you need company in life...The ones you have...relatives,friends,etc wont be around for long...and primarily because you need someone to support you and be with you all the time...
And there it is...you decide who it is going to be in such a short time....most of which is pretence...
It will never work for me i guess...i just cant do it....

Having a lot of fun these days...hanging out almost every evening and meeting up with old friends...
Its nice to keep in touch with a few people...and i am glad i chose to keep contact with them for this long....



The photo on the left was clicked by Rahul about a year ago when he had visited Europe...

Varun (on the right) clicked it last week when he had gone to the same place this year...

Its decided now for us...we might go separately...but we have to click a photo at this place in this very pose...
Its the "thing" we just have to do for this circle of friends...
I dont know when ill do it...but i just hope i do it some day...

I like the friends i made at Engineering...We may live miles apart...but we are always there for each other...and we cant "stay" without each other...

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

If your life was a story....


"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies.

And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are effective for a much larger and nobler cause.

They are here to save our lives.
I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true.
And, so it was, a wristwatch saved Harold Crick."



This movie has so much to telll...and it grasps you every minute...i always thought what it would be like to be a part of a story...what if you knew everything is decided....
this movie is a must watch!

Monday, May 05, 2008

alone and a cup of coffee

Was sitting with a friend at a coffee shop yesterday...
I was busy going through the menu (I dont get this sometimes...you visit the place so often...u know the menu "in and out"...you have already decided what you are goin to order...but still you will go through it...again and again!!!)

well...He saw this girl walk in...He looked my way and said..."Look at her....she is beautiful mann...but i bet she has a geek boyfriend who doesnt even know how to talk properly...this always happens..."

I looked at her...(yupp...one pretty lady she was...)
"Why are you complaining suddenly....she is happy with her bf...and you dont stand a chance with her...let her be...and stop wasting your time thinking over something you can never have..."

He gave me a stare...and i guess that was the end of another senseless conversation at the coffee shop.
Somehow...Every guy always thinks he can be a better boyfriend to a girl than her present bf..
LOL

Cant help thinking these days about the way things have changed...about how things could have been different...about people i could have never met...
Some people you meet so regularly these days...could never have been a part of your life at all...

I mean...i never make genuine attempts to go and talk to people....but i realized...by the end of the day...each new place i visit...i do make an acquaintance...
and i guess it happens to all...

Was thinking about how i have been waiting for things to change again...and was remembering old days...missing a lot of people...and making a lot of calls...

Have been alone at home a couple of days...and though i really like the freedom...i do get bugged when i have no plans for the day...
Spoke to a couple of friends who are away...reasons ranging from job to studies...and it made me realize how they must be spending their everyday...
same office...same work...and coming back home alone...with hardly anything to do...

I wished i could do something for them...sometimes...yes....talking on the phone for a long time helps...

Friday, May 02, 2008

Cant wait...

I am sitting here today...11:15 pm...alone in the house...and just feeling the lack of company...Not that i want anyone to be around me right now...because i am enjoying the peace of being alone (You dont get peace at staying alone very often...so might as well enjoy it whenever you feel "good" about being alone!)

Somehow...i wished it rained...I cant tell you how much i am missing the rains!!!


I just love the drizzles...it makes you wanna dance...it makes you feel touched and cared...aahhh!!

I was telling Harry the other day of how i am tired of staying true and positive...about how hoping that better things will come only frustrates me more now...not that i would like to change anything specifically...because i would like to believe (how much ever I wont like to accept it...) that whatever you get is always close to what you deserve...
But i dont know why..I dont get this feeling....and why do i feel that somewhere...Life has been too unfair...

I am happy about a lot of things...A lot of new things bought (which includes our new CAR!)...about friends who will be coming down...about friends gone and still call to know how i am...About the new summer job and the urge to prove my worth again...about JUNE (which is my fav month!!!)

But i dont feel all that happy somehow...and that feeling doesnt go away...it might fade a bit...but its still there...

Right now...Cant wait for the rains to come!!!!

I cant wait to walk down the road...in the rain...and feeling the showers...
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