Friday, March 21, 2008

Somethin's coming...

I am loving this morning...sitting at home...relaxing...not thinking much...and it feels good...
Dunno why....but i wont forget this day for a long time...its been nothin gr8...or exceptional that happened...but just...its one of those days...

Watched "That thing you do"
There is something about the beats of the song....makes you wanna dance...


"you... doin' that thing you do
breaking my heart into a million pieces
like you always do
and you... don't mean to be cruel
you never even knew about the heartache
I've been going through
well I try and try to forget you girl
but it's just so hard to do
every time you do that thing you do..
I know all the games you play
and I'm gonna find a way to let you know
that you'll be mine someday
cause we could be happy can't you see
if you'd only let me be the one to hold you
and keep you here with me
cause I try and try to forget you girl
but it's just so hard to do
every time you do that thing you do

I don't ask a lot girl
but I know one thing's for sure
it's the love I haven't got girl
and I just can't take it anymore

cause we could be happy can't you see
if you'd only let me be the one to hold you
and keep you here with me
cause it hurts me so just to see you go
around with someone new
and if I know you you're doing that thing
every day just doing that thing
I can't take you doing
that thing you do"

I know of a friend who plays this song for his girl all the time...i must agree...its one of the most amazing songs...
Every couple should have a song...
:-)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

A realization dawned...

I feel a bit free minded today...relaxing to good music...

Had a tough day...some unprepared tests and a meaningless presentation have been completed well and with full satisfaction...

Attended a guest lecture on "Creativity" today...the lecture did not quite have an impact on me...but i was thinking of some things and situations which have changed my life in the past years...and somewhere has made me the person i am today...

Have had some gr8 moments in these past few days...

A rural visit...a river bank...perfect company...good and heavenly thoughts...complex questions finding their answers somewhere...
A cool place...3 beers....light head...full consciousness...but still dizzy....

These moments have given be staunch and impinging realizations...realizations which i will never forget in my life...

I am having this utter need to be happy these days...having handling high frustrations around...and still keeping myself calm...knowing its not worth it...but sometimes i feel what do i get for my patience...no rewards...no returns...
I ask for nothing more...nothing less...just want the feeling of goodness to remain...
I want to be really really happy once...not more...not less...ONCE....this once when i can shout out loud and scream in glee...
Somewhere because i have never felt that extreme happiness ever....like when you might get what you longed soo far to have...

Aaarrgghh...it doesnt really matter...somewhere i know how things are with me...I have always tried to be good...and i know i will not change that about me for anyone and anything...i appreciate when people say how what you have done and said has helped them...but its the urge to be happy for myself that makes me want to run away from all this....
(No...i am not being selfish...that i have never been...but come on mann....BE FAIR!! )

:-)


Right now...i feel the light music playing in my head...want to go by the beach and see the stars...
...somewhere...life is good...but ill wait for the moment when ill be soo happy that ill feel BLESSED...!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Feeling...

Its been long since i have got down to write down...just too much MBA going on...more than MBA i think its the people managing skills that are being toned and its occupying a lota time of my precious life...

There has been so much happening everyday that its becoming difficult to keep a track of everything.
I am loving the change...but there is a lot to be improved and i hope i get over the little left and be the way i want myself to be...Its taking a lot for me...but i have somewhere made a promise to myself that ill do it...more importantly because the change is important for me maintaining some relationships...and i am glad that these relations matter to me so much that they will drive me to overcome the "blocks" in me...

I lot of things have to be jotted down...but i don't know how to...
Have you ever got that "song for the day"???
Its like...you hear a hundred songs in a day...but then...theres this ONE song...and you suddenly feel gooodd....i love that feeling...

This happens with people...you talk to a close hundred people everyday...and then theres this ONE who just makes your day...the funny part is...the song may not be same everyday...the the person is...and i love that feeling!

At times you feel lost...confused with yourself....trying to find out where you are and what you want to do...it bugs you couple of times in a day...that lonely feeling gets so strong sometimes that you wish you were not alone...and that if life was perfect...you would never feel lonely...something like being in love...

I strongly feel being in love is good...but i am done with looking for it everywhere...and now i am pretty sure i have come to a point that i might even avoid accepting it...for the fear of getting it wrong again...and affecting myself...the feeling which makes me feel life's unfair...and where did i go wrong...and i hate that feeling!


I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.

* Gilda Radner, 1946-1989


I am soo happy about a certain things...it makes you feel nice that the people around are happy...somewhere because you talked to them...and you were there when they needed you...and the problem is...its becoming a bit too much and too many people to handle...and by the end of the day...somewhere i feel drained out...and it bugs me that this leads to the sour feeling of loneliness..its momentary though...but still...i dont want it...and i hate that feeling!

I am hoping life has something really good to offer me sooon...coz somewhere i need it...
I want life to unfold positively...and with full of happiness now..i need a gift from life...for being fair and just...and as good a person as possible...and then ill loveeeee that feeling!

"Think of a car driving through the night.The headlights only go a hundered to two hundred feet forward,and you can make it all the way driving through the dark,because all you have to see is the next two hundred feet.And thats how life tends to unfold before us. If we just trust that the next two hundred feet will unfold after that....in the right way...and the next two hundred after that,your life will keep unfolding the way you want it...and eventually you will reach you destination. The catch here though is...its only you who can avoid the bumpers and potholes. The catch is "identifying" these potholes..."


:-)
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