Thursday, March 20, 2008

A realization dawned...

I feel a bit free minded today...relaxing to good music...

Had a tough day...some unprepared tests and a meaningless presentation have been completed well and with full satisfaction...

Attended a guest lecture on "Creativity" today...the lecture did not quite have an impact on me...but i was thinking of some things and situations which have changed my life in the past years...and somewhere has made me the person i am today...

Have had some gr8 moments in these past few days...

A rural visit...a river bank...perfect company...good and heavenly thoughts...complex questions finding their answers somewhere...
A cool place...3 beers....light head...full consciousness...but still dizzy....

These moments have given be staunch and impinging realizations...realizations which i will never forget in my life...

I am having this utter need to be happy these days...having handling high frustrations around...and still keeping myself calm...knowing its not worth it...but sometimes i feel what do i get for my patience...no rewards...no returns...
I ask for nothing more...nothing less...just want the feeling of goodness to remain...
I want to be really really happy once...not more...not less...ONCE....this once when i can shout out loud and scream in glee...
Somewhere because i have never felt that extreme happiness ever....like when you might get what you longed soo far to have...

Aaarrgghh...it doesnt really matter...somewhere i know how things are with me...I have always tried to be good...and i know i will not change that about me for anyone and anything...i appreciate when people say how what you have done and said has helped them...but its the urge to be happy for myself that makes me want to run away from all this....
(No...i am not being selfish...that i have never been...but come on mann....BE FAIR!! )

:-)


Right now...i feel the light music playing in my head...want to go by the beach and see the stars...
...somewhere...life is good...but ill wait for the moment when ill be soo happy that ill feel BLESSED...!
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